by Erica Farrimond
(New Zealand)

Lily was born and my longest cherished dream came true. I held in my arms a beautiful little being who felt like my soulmate. She didn't need to speak a word, I just felt we had known each other for a long time and she felt like the missing peice to my existence. I had a difficult labour with so many complications that I distinctly remember thinking to myself "It's OK, I believe in reincarnation, I believe in heaven, it'll be OK if I die!" For the first two weeks my husband looked after Lily as I was too sick to sit up. When I finally came right, instead of being overjoyed with my little bundle of love, I got very depressed. I had an over-riding thought that would not leave my mind. I couldn't stop crying day or night. I had to leave the light on when I slept as I needed company. My overwhelming sadness was caused by this single thought - "One day I won't have Lily". It was only after speaking to my brother three weeks later and reinforcing my beliefs in the bigger picture of our souls that I released this fear. 
Psychologists could argue that I just had post-natal depression. But I know in my heart that Lily and I had a plan (for our souls' greater expansion) that we decided on before both of our births, and as soon as she was born I had been reminded of this plan. She had her own reasons too of course but I believe our greater goal was to be able to share this experience and help others heal which gives my whole experience a purpose rather than it being a tragic random event. My determination to stay connected with my little soulmate would be the motivation for me to tune into my intuition and feel her with me and say to others who are grieving: "Hey, yes your loved one has gone physically but he/she is still with you in essence as real as before, your bond of love is still as real as before and you too have a grand heroic master plan that will reveal itself to if it hasn't already. Everything is going to be OK". 
Love Erica Farrimond,

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