The third time,,,,

by Linda

In 1987 I lost my husband of 14 years as he was killed in an accident. We had a son, age 11.

We recovered somewhat, and I remarried in 1995. In 2009, he passed away with kidney cancer.
Sure that I would never remarry, I was wrong! met the man of my dreams at age 59! He was 60,
So handsome and full of life, recently retired from USPS after a successful 37 years with them.

We married in 2011, a beautiful small wedding in Victoria, BC.

Now, not married even 2 years, we learn he has gastric cancer, inoperable.

I am numb in some ways, so heartbroken, and scared. How I wish it was ME, and not he.
So, no, he has not died yet. In fact he looks healthy and presents no symptoms except
A slight cough. But, I know what kinds of things lie ahead of both of us.

I am devastated..

Comments for The third time,,,,

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Aug 16, 2013
So deeply sad for you

Words fail me, to go through losing two husbands and now seeing your third so seriously ill must be so totally devastating that I can’t begin to imagine how you feel.
It is seven months since my beloved wife died after being together for nearly seventy years and as I wish her photograph goodnight and throw her a kiss before going to that dreaded empty bedroom I cry bitter tears knowing she won’t be there with her smiling face to greet me, and you have been through that twice already, it is beyond belief that anyone could suffer so.
You have joined a club nobody wants to be a member of and I hope reading some of our stories and to know you are not alone will give you a little comfort.
All our prayers, whatever our religion are with you.
Be strong.

Aug 16, 2013
Praying for you
by: Kristin

I am so sorry to hear about the awful news regarding your husband. Like the other commenter s, I would relish in the time you have now with him. God obviously wants you to be a warrior for him. Keep fighting. Know that you are lucky to have been blessed with three great loves. You are obviously something very special. I will keep you in my prayers along with your husband.

Aug 16, 2013
The third time,,,,,
by: Doreen U.K.

Linda I am sorry for your loss of 2 husbands and now about to lose your third husband to the worst disease under the sun.
My husband of 44yrs. died 15 months ago of a deadly cancer caused by working with ASBESTOS. His cancer was inoperable, incurable, aggressive. I will never forget that day. The day of diagnosis is the day you start grieving. I was caregiver to my husband for 3yrs.39days and it was a horrendous cancer journey. To look into the face of the only man I ever loved and see him die a slow painful death whilst he wanted to live. I was in denial. I didn't want to believe my husband was going to die. When he did I went into angry with God mode. This is the worst time for you because this is your third time you are having to go through a husband having cancer. If a person can find happiness in life it is proper and right that they don't waste the opportunity. But for you it is sad that this experience of finding happiness has come at a price. Just don't let this loss and the other 2 losses make you give up on future happiness. If it comes accept this as your destiny and make the best of life and what it has to offer you. With each husband your experience of grief would have been different. But also in many ways the same as Cancer is a disease that is cruel and deadly and full of fear. Many people don't always come back from this disease and when Cancer is diagnosed the first thing we think of. "Oh! I am going to die". Life is lonely when you lose your husband/wife. The past and future years rush past you and all I thought of is "What am I going to do?" I took one day at a time and I got through my grief this way. I sat on the couch for months and let TV soothe my emptiness and lonliness. Till I could get my motivation back into life.
My Aunt is 81yrs. and she lost 3 husbands. She went through such a hard time. But she has 4 supportive loving children who look out for her and it has made a difference in her life. Now she is just on friendly terms with a man who offers her companionship. They share a meal and he does jobs around the house for her. They are both filling a need for each other to enhance their lives. Do what works for you. But my heart goes out to you. I know how devastated you must be right now. I remember well how I felt. It is the worst place to be right now. But you will know what to do. If you were able to see a counsellor this would help you cope with your grief and help you through the worst days as this type of support is invaluable.

Aug 15, 2013
I understand.
by: Bereaved so many times

Dear Linda, I am so sorry about the awful news concerning your husband's health.

As he has no symptoms yet. Please enjoy each precious day together.

I have learnt from my own suffering that you have to live each day at a time.

All the people that I adore have now passed over. I am a full time carer for my sibling who has a terminal condition, and I too am battling painful health problems.

I have learned not to look ahead but grab any happiness. My mum who died recently taught me this.

She nursed my father for many years and then became very ill. She refused to look too far ahead or listen to doctors precictions. She would ask for her tea and biscuit,read her books and make every one feel so precious. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO LIVE WITH WHAT IS GOING TO BE - ENJOY YOUR WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP, DONT FRET ABOUT TOMORROW.COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS FOR TODAY.

Thinking of you.

Aug 15, 2013
by: Judith in California

Oh Linda, my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine going through loosing 3 husbands to death much less one. May God give you the strength to get through this. Prayers for you are being sent up.

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