The Wolf is at my Heart ~

by Patricia
(Las Vegas)

The Little Frog that Could

The Little Frog that Could

At times I feel my soul is lost, forever drowning in a sea of tears and sorrow.
But, there is a light shining just off in the distance.
I catch a ray glowing every now and then, a light just over the horizon shining into my heart at times.
I know Billy's there, I can feel it but I can't touch it. A shadow on a the wall, a glimpse just off in the distance, my heart feels it....
Then I awake and he's not there, I'm alone once more and the tears come again.
I don't understand the concept of only 1. Before time and in the beginning, Noah's Ark it was 2 by 2... Problem is now it's only 1. My pair, my other half, my soul mate is gone and I'm forever searching.
Life in reality or in the Bible always remains a mystery where the heart is concern. A instruction book would really benefit everybody.
I was told the heart feels nothing and it's just the mind. Someone explain to me when I can't breath and my heart is running a 100 miles an hour and I can't stand the heartache any more how my mind has anything to do with it.????
Yes, I'm an emotional person and I lead with my heart because If I was thinking with my brain I wouldn't say the stupid things I say. So my heart is breaking, my best friend, my soul mate, the one person that is the very soul of my life is gone and I'm destroyed, devastated, can you truly tell me it's my brain and if so explain it because my heart feels like it going to jump out of my chest.
I'm in left field and then in right. Who's on first? What's on second.... round and round we go again.
Sometime's I just want to scream ENOUGH!!!!!!!
Hello, reality check, good luck with that one
So goldilocks ~ watch out, the wolf is at the door and his name is: Heartbreak, sorrow, despair and devastation to your soul ~ beware..... Have I really lost touch with Reality? I'm sure its a question that will forever be unanswered. All I know is Billy's not here, my soul is lost and I wish his arms were around me to hold and just feel that warmth, comfort and love he always had for me. Again, I'm crying for what is lost and I can not longer have.
God help us all ~ and me....
always
1 step, 1 breath at a time ~ 1 year
and insanity following fast behind. . .

Comments for The Wolf is at my Heart ~

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Aug 29, 2011
beautifly written
by: geoffrey campbell

This letter you have written moved me to tears, but I found beauty in it, and I thought I found I could also identify emotions that I am feeling. Thank you for your letter, I don't know why, but letters such as yours help me to understand my grief, and help me through this difficult journey. Sincerely, a friend in Pennsylvania

Aug 28, 2011
I feel so sad for you Pat
by: Sue

Hello Pat,
you post made me feel so sad for you. You say what all of us who have lost our soul mates are going through - it is hell!. But what I know is this - I would not have given up one single second of my life with Brian to spare myself the grieving now. I take comfort in the words of the Prophet, Kahlil Gibran who says about sorrow :
"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be?The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for which has been your delight. ( Isn't that true, dear Pat, we are weeping for the loss of the joy our husbands gave us)... The Prophet goes on to say:
Some of you say "Joy is greater than sorrow:, and others say "" Nay, sorrow is the greater".
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Pat we were SO lucky to have the lives we had with our precious husbands.... worth every second of the grieving now I think.
Love,
Sue

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