The worst christmas ever without my only son

by Eva
(delano pa)

On December 23 2007 started out like any other xmas maddness. I was hosting the family christmas eve party as always. I got up at 5 am and started cooking. My two daughters were still asleep but my son Donnie always helped so he was in the kitchen with me. We were preparing the food and i needed olives sp him and i went to ther store. I had surgy on my foot i was still in a cast and he drove me to the store. While i was in the store i heard a ladyt say did you see that nice young man in the prking lot with the santa hat on helping people put there grcerys in there car. I knew right away it was my donnie. He wore that santa hat always around the holidays and to his job. After shopping we went back home to bake christmas cookies.The day went pretty fast and my son got a call from work asking him if he could come in to cover for somone and he did. After his work he came home and helepd me finish up the cookies. It was a long day . My son got a call asking if he could go meet his freind ian to exchange christmas giftts i said he could it was 10 at night i told him he had half hour then hehad to be home.I gave im my keys to my car he loved drivn it. He hugged me and kissed me and said I love you mommy ill be right back. I said i love you to. Littledid i know then they were gonna be the last words i say to my son. I was sittign watching tv when i heard the sirens go off and seen the fire trucks go right by my house. I yelled to peter my daughters bf to go see whats going on. I just got a funny feeling in my stomache i dont know why but i just knew it wasw my son. Peter came back said it was a bad car accident but couldt see anything. Just then the phone rang it was ian donnies freind asking me if hewas home then i knew , I ran out of the house demeanded peter to take me to the accident. Me my oldest and peter went to the accident. I arrived on the scene the road was flooded but i could see my car in the distance all smashed up. I seen a firemen they were searching for more victims and he looked at me with a terror on his face it was one of donnies friends i said its donnie is he ok ,,, he said wait here. then the fire cheif came to me i said its donnie sint it he said yes i said omg where is he is he ok ? Then the owrds i will never forget as long as i live ,, he said ,, no iam sorry he didnt make it hes gone. I rmebere getting dizzy and i guess i passed out the next thing i cameto and they were working on me i passed out and fell hit my head. They put me in tje ambulance i was numb and in shick my olderst was crying and i knew i had to make phone calls and i ddint want to. I made the calls one by one from the ambulance and i was worried my youngest would hear about her brother from somone else i had to get to her to tell her. After what seemed forever i finally got to go back to the house where to find all my sons freinds gahtered at the house i didnt know how to comfort them be cause i still didnt beleive it was my son gone two days before xmas. After every one had left i told my youngerst and she cryed i helf her forever it seemded, After everyone lfet i went to the place hwere my son was and i needed to see it myself to beleive it. He was cover with a white sheet so pale and cold and muddty his face was i cleaned his face told him i loved him and i was so sorry i wasnt there for him when he died. That was over 4 yrs ago and it still feels like yesterday. His death has chaqnged everything in my family. Its been so hard i havent clebrated a xmas since hde died only a block from home two night beofer xmas. It dosent get any easyier beleive me... Just go day by day .. I miss my son so much ... I love you forever my son Donnie ,, he was 17 when he died......

Comments for The worst christmas ever without my only son

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Jul 12, 2012
So sorry.
by: Anonymous

I lost my 20yr old daughter on October 16, 2010 and I still can't sleep at night. The last words I said to her we're an explanative laced tyraid that I still hear almost every night. I'm sorry for your loss.

May 25, 2012
I'm so sorry
by: Carla

My 29yo daugher was murdered July 2010. Like you I gave her a hug and kiss and told her I loved her the day she left to visit a friend. She always would kiss me and hug me when she left. She never made it to her friends house. She was murdered that day.

I am just so grateful that you did get to hold him and do what a Mother does best. My daughter was found 11 days after she was murdered and all that was left of her weighed 36lbs. OMG I just don't know how to deal with it except one day, one night, one breath a day.

May 24, 2012
by: Anonymous

Wow,your post brought me to tears, I'm so sorry and can't even begin to imagine what you and your family went through and are still going through. I lost my 3 year old grandson in January and it's the worst pain I have ever felt, I only thought people with terminal illness suffer a slow painful death I know now that it's us the ones left behind after the loss of our child or grandchild that suffer that pain. I wish there were words of comfort but, there isn't, all I can offer is to keep you in my thoughts. Hugs and much love to you, Ann

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