I try not to cry, because i know he's in a better place. After losing both his parents and incurring a brain tumor, how could it have been better?
I can explain that to myself but it doesn't make it hurt less. I loved him, my fiance, my life for a very long time. It was perfect, evidently too perfect.
It's been 3 years and while i'm happy to live my life, i do feel empty, half a soul. As well as being more understanding now, i don't want to let go. I probably could, but i don't want to move further away from the little memory i have left of him.
He was 23, he had a big bright smile despite having survived a world of pain, he was caring and lovable, he was mine.