There Can Be Happiness Again
by MeMe Nettles
I'm MeMe and since the 80's we hadn't experienced any losses in our family or anyone close. In 95 I met the guy of my dreams but I was 2 yrs younger than he was so we took our time and we got engaged my senior year in 98. I moved 2nd semester to finish school in Florida and he was moving to MS where he was accepted into the engineering field but we knew we loved each other. He drove me to Florida and when he got ready to leave he pulled out, stopped the car, got and just stared at me smiling without saying a word then he got back in and drove off. 2 weeks later he went to move his things in his new place and had to come back to return the truck he borrowed. On his way back he hit a water puddle and hydroplaned when came down he was on the wrong side of the road and was hit head on by an oncoming vehicle then his truck exploded so we had to get his dental records to identify him. My mom called me at 2am to tell me that and I just hit the floor. I waited for him everyday thinking maybe it wasn't him like maybe some stole the car and wrecked. It was hard not being able to see a body. If I had known that day was the last day I would ever see him again I would've held on for dear life. I couldn't sleep, eat or even smile it felt like someone was stabbing me in the heart. I've always sickly so I was told I could never have kids which was fine because I didn't want any. In 03 I met another guy named Bryant and I didn't think anyone could ever be like Tony because he spoiled me rotten and was so sweet but I was wrong Bryant was amazing. We got engaged in 04 and married in 05. In July of 07 one day I was cramping no matter what I took the pain didn't ease so I went to the hospital and had a baby girl! I named her Heaven A'marri. Needless to say Bryant and I were in major shock and although we didn't want kids we loved her instantly. My life just couldn't get any better then my mom fell ill and died in August. 6 mnths after that my grandma, and 7 months after that my dad. For a year no one else passed and I thought God had said no more! Right after the year then my daughter died from an allergic reaction to some juice and Bryant and I took it hard but we still had each other and he died 3 mths later. Heaven was 2 yrs old and Bryant was 32 yrs old. It's been 3 yrs now and I was 29 when that happened. By us being so young I didn't get around to getting insurance and I lost everything because he was the bread winner while I stayed home taking care of the house and raising my own child. I had to move into a funeral home because I didn't have money or anymore close relatives. I took some time to get some 1 on 1 with God because I felt like I was going to lose my mind. I'm back in school but my life will never be the same. It's not something you get over but everyday it gets a little easier to cope with. Not 1 day goes by that I don't think of my family and of course I still shed tears from time to time.