There's always the Grief Corner

by Judith

No matter what stage of grief we are in, no matter what month it is of their passing ,no matter if we are doing better.. there's always going to be a grief corner in our heads and hearts. We loved them for so long and always will. We just can't deaden ourselves and feel nothing for someone we spent so many real years with.

It's been almost seven months for me and sometimes find myself back at day one feeling lost and wanting him back. Other days I get up and go through the motions and go to the gym or meet friends for lunch or dinner or go by myself. I feed the Kitties and clean house, watch boring TV and then another day comes to try again to make sense of life in general.

And as I see it,it's that way until we can go with God and see our loves again.

I have some physical problems from helping him all those years and I miss him being here to go to the doctor with me and if I have to have surgery he won't be there to comfort me or help me and I will be so lonely for that. When he was healthy 4 years ago and back he always there for me. Remembering hearing the sounds of his footsteps and looking up to see him was so comforting and I knew all was right with my world.

It hurts to know it's all gone and all I can do is hang on for dear life to the memories of our love. I don't want to forget him ever nor can I see pushing him aside for someone else. Tho' I do need to be hugged and told I'm loved and that I'm special.

Comments for There's always the Grief Corner

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Mar 31, 2011
Starting over again and again...


Grief corner is the perfect word for describing the ebb and flow of grief. For some reason we think that we need to master and conquer grief when really it is just living with it. We cannot erase memories or feelings of loneliness and just start over. As much as we try our former lives will always be reminding us of what was.

Now I try to do some things that I always wanted to do and that is not easy doing alone. It is human to want to share such things and feels so incredibly scary to go it alone. We are use to sharing with our loves. The empty house is so still so silent nothing will fill it.

In the beginning of grief I kept busy always busy thinking that would be the solution, after I managed to get to the year mark I just stopped caring and wanted to do nothing. It was scary I knew that this was no longer grief guiding my life. I had given up after a year long fight.

But my brother stepped in and helped my start a simple painting project, my way of starting over. Giving me a new environment that did not remind me of Paul every time I stepped into a room that was a former project of ours.

We need to be content within ourselves before we can begin to live. How that is done is personal and so very difficult. I wish you my best during this rough grief journey...

Mar 30, 2011
by: Anonymous

I lost my soulmate of almost 22 years on March 10, the day before my 62nd birthday. I'm in a new place, the home we built in late September in a state. I'm not sure I know how to do this.

My tribute to my guy -

Mar 30, 2011
Lost Marsha 2-13-11
by: Rick

I know just how you feel. Marsha and I were married for 40 years. Marsha was such a loving Wife Mom Grandma. I also try to keep busy, but the nites alone are ruff. I cry every nite wishing just to hold her one more time. Marsha found out she had a very rare cancer Aug 1,Same day I got my first retirement check, so much for all our plans. Cared for her 24-7.Would have it no other way as Marsha is and always be THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.May God Bless Us All for Grief we have to handle.I hope to God we all make it.God Bless Rick

Mar 30, 2011
I Hear You Loud and Clear
by: TrishJ

Oh Judy~
I hear you. I feel the same. My husband was sick for so long. I took care of him for over a year. I had to quit my job as a medical practice administrator. I don't know if I'll be able to find another job. I'm not ready yet to begin looking. It's only been 4 months for me.
I miss my husband so much. I try to resign myself to the fact that he was really ill and his body just gave out. He's not suffering anymore. But....I'm suffering now. He was the love of my life. Married to 37 years (I was just a kid of 19 when we met ~ two beautiful children ~ three adorable grandsons. Every time I try to do something with my family it tears me up inside because he isn't here to share it.
I'm making little baby step progress compared to what it was like for the first two months. It's just a blur of Xanax and crying. Now reality is setting in and I have to learn to deal with it. I try to fill my days too but the nights are soooo lonely!!
I thank God for my good friends and family. I can't imagine going through this without the love family and old friends.....and still, I feel sorry for myself on a daily basis.
God's blessings to you. Keep up the good work:)

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