They`re All Dead

by Victor
(Canada)

They’re All Dead

Diane and Bob were brother and sister and were friends of mine. Thirty seven years ago in 1975, Bob took an LSD overdose and fell into a river, drowning himself in the process. He was 16. This happened late at night, after a rock concert. His body was recovered early the following morning. We couldn’t believe that this had happened. At the funeral, a week later, I walked quietly along the line to give my condolences. When I got to Diane, she hugged me and said my name quietly. I have never forgotten this. I think I fell in love with her at that moment.

I saw Diane a few times after that but she was also into using LSD, in spite of her brother’s death. LSD frightened me, because of Bob’s death and since I had used it once and knew how potent it was and how screwed up it can make your brain, so I never pursued a relationship with her, however, I did still love her. Years went by and we lost touch – I thought of her often. Somehow, it felt comforting to know that Diane was in the world, even if I wasn’t with her.

Diane died of Leukemia in 1992 after a long illness. She was just 35. Leukemia is thought to be one of the diseases brought on by LSD use. When I learned about her death, I was greatly saddened and felt empty. I hadn’t known about her illness or whereabouts but still felt guilty that I didn’t help in some way. I learned that she had been married and had no children, which made me feel a bit better that she had been loved and that she hadn’t left small children behind without a mother.

Both of Diane’s parents have just died within the last year. It was always in my mind to go visit them after Diane died, but I lacked the courage and didn’t want to remind them of both of their children who had died. Now its too late.

The other day, I drove by their house. There is a for-sale sign up and the house has been completely emptied of all signs of life – no furniture, no pictures, no curtains, just an empty house. I pictured Diane and Bob there, and recalled taking both of them to the all-night drive-in movie as I stood in the driveway. I remembered making that date with Diane. When I went to her house to pick her up, she asked if Bob could come along. I said nothing and she said to me, “Bob’s my best friend.” I said, “Sure he can come”.

Why, in this crazy life has this surfaced all these years later and has me grieving the loss of Bob, Diane, and her parents, liked it happened yesterday? There is something so tragic, unfair, and unbalanced in all of this. I just can’t believe that they’re all dead.

Comments for They`re All Dead

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Oct 13, 2012
Thank you for your comments
by: victor

Strangely, it's not myself that concerns me - it's the pain and sadness that Bob and Diane's parents must've lived with every day knowing that both of their children had died - one tragically and the other much too young, and the pain that Diane felt after her brother, her best friend, had died.

We often think that we will not be exposed to the tragedy and death of a loved one - here's an extreme example of 2 people, Bob and Diane's parents, who carried on in spite of their children dying.

Thank you for your kind comments and encouragement.

Victor

Oct 12, 2012
They're all Dead
by: Doreen U.K.

Victor I am sorry for your loss of Dianne, Bob and their parents. The reason this has come out now because it has been lying dormant inside you and needs to be RESOLVED. Something may have acted as a trigger to bring these UNRESOVED deaths to the SURFACE. You may as well deal with this loss whilst you are able to now. Many problems resurface years later pressing for resolution. I hope that you will be able to resolve these issues now whilst you have the time to do so. You say you can't beieve they are all dead. The clue is here. You were in DENIAL all this time and repressed this. Now is the time this death has to be resolved in your own mind so that it won't limit your life and hold you back from LIVING. It will be more painfull having resurfaced years later. HEALING needs to take place in YOU.

Oct 12, 2012
They're all Dead.
by: Louisa Okoro

Dear Victor,

I tried hard but cant find words to communicate to you, your story touched my soul, I join you to say, 'God keep Diane, her parents and her brothers souls in perfect peace, in Jesus Name, Amen'. And to you I say "God, give Victor peace and closure", amen.

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