They`re All Dead
They’re All Dead
Diane and Bob were brother and sister and were friends of mine. Thirty seven years ago in 1975, Bob took an LSD overdose and fell into a river, drowning himself in the process. He was 16. This happened late at night, after a rock concert. His body was recovered early the following morning. We couldn’t believe that this had happened. At the funeral, a week later, I walked quietly along the line to give my condolences. When I got to Diane, she hugged me and said my name quietly. I have never forgotten this. I think I fell in love with her at that moment.
I saw Diane a few times after that but she was also into using LSD, in spite of her brother’s death. LSD frightened me, because of Bob’s death and since I had used it once and knew how potent it was and how screwed up it can make your brain, so I never pursued a relationship with her, however, I did still love her. Years went by and we lost touch – I thought of her often. Somehow, it felt comforting to know that Diane was in the world, even if I wasn’t with her.
Diane died of Leukemia in 1992 after a long illness. She was just 35. Leukemia is thought to be one of the diseases brought on by LSD use. When I learned about her death, I was greatly saddened and felt empty. I hadn’t known about her illness or whereabouts but still felt guilty that I didn’t help in some way. I learned that she had been married and had no children, which made me feel a bit better that she had been loved and that she hadn’t left small children behind without a mother.
Both of Diane’s parents have just died within the last year. It was always in my mind to go visit them after Diane died, but I lacked the courage and didn’t want to remind them of both of their children who had died. Now its too late.
The other day, I drove by their house. There is a for-sale sign up and the house has been completely emptied of all signs of life – no furniture, no pictures, no curtains, just an empty house. I pictured Diane and Bob there, and recalled taking both of them to the all-night drive-in movie as I stood in the driveway. I remembered making that date with Diane. When I went to her house to pick her up, she asked if Bob could come along. I said nothing and she said to me, “Bob’s my best friend.” I said, “Sure he can come”.
Why, in this crazy life has this surfaced all these years later and has me grieving the loss of Bob, Diane, and her parents, liked it happened yesterday? There is something so tragic, unfair, and unbalanced in all of this. I just can’t believe that they’re all dead.