Things will never be the same.
(Cypress, texas, u.s)
On september 23rd my mother rid her self of her struggles and took her life. She was found dead by my 21 year old sister on thursday september 24. How can i ever forgive her, i am only but 15 years old i haven't gone to prom or moved out or had my wedding?
I keep asking myself how she could feel as if she has nothing to live for i needed her there for all of those memorable moments!
I attended my mothers funeral two days ago. I can't even explain in words the emotional, mental and physical pain i felt. Have you ever felt so horrible and sad and hopeless your stomach feels like it's been ripped out and stepped on? I have, I can't tell you how much it irritates me when people see you crying and upset and they dare to ask are you ok? Obviously not, how do i even begin to answer?
It pains me to think that i will never see her again and apologize. The day she committed suicide i was so mean to her, we got in a huge fight and said things i will have to live with and regret for the rest of my life. This experience has taught me such a valuable lesson. Never take today for granted, because you are never guaranteed a tomorrow. I will never go to bed at night with out letting all my loved ones know just how much i love and care about them.