Three weeks ago

My husband died three weeks ago today.We were married for 40 years and he had been ill for a long time but you are not prepared for the reality even if it is expected. The first few days were not too bad, it didn't feel real. It's now that it's getting worse. I realise he won't come back, he'll never talk to me again, he won't tell me where he keeps the screwdriver or tell me how to do things.I'm also left with big financial difficulties. I don't know if I can be bothered going on.

Comments for Three weeks ago

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Apr 17, 2012
Been there Doing That
by: Judith in California

I'm so sorry for your loss. Yes it does become peaceful in time. You will ride this horrible roller coaster of emotions until you find the peace you require on the othere side of it. It ook me about 18 months to get there but that's not to say I don't still have my moments . WE will always have a grief corner and the emptiness their passing caused. It's only until you find someone else or something else to keep you busy and fulfilled that you will be somewhat back to normal in your new normal.

For me the first year and a half was one step forward and three steps back. I had to finally sit down and get serious about how I truly feel about everyday of our life together, the good, the bad, forgive and then heal and found the peace needed to move forward.
God give you the strength to see each day to your peaceful side of grief.

Apr 16, 2012
by: Anonymous

I'm just on 6 months and struggling. Sometimes I feel I'm doing OK, BUT then I wake up one day and I'm back where I started in the grief. Overwhelmed with sadness and longing. It's horrendous. It's like my soul has been taken out of my body and crushed into a thousand pieces. No words are adequate to describe the pain and sorrow I feel. The only people who can relate to this feeling are the people who have experienced it. (Thank goodness for this site)
I can't think about my partner without tears filling up in my eyes, I can't move his belongings, I've had to remove his photo on the side board and put it away where I can't see it because I fall to pieces when I look at it.
Everything reminds me of him.
My friends have no idea I am still in such a state of despair and loneliness as I try to hide it from them as I know they have moved on with their lives and families.
I even left home this morning begging him to leave me a sign that he is still around me. Change the time on the microwave, turn on the TV, anything PLEASE. I thought I was passed all this but it's back with a vengeance.
It's so cruel to not even be able to enjoy our memories, which are plentiful after 20 years of happiness together. It hurts to remember him and what we shared and now what we've had taken from us.
Sometimes I wonder if it's me that died and I don't relise it. The world seems so surreal and unfamiliar to me now. I sometimes pinch myself and ask am I really alive?
They say it gets better, I can only hope so. This is no way to live.

Apr 16, 2012
Feel the same.
by: Anonymous

I feel the same about my wife. We had known eachother for a long time but we have only been back together since 1995. Everything is empty. I am totally lost. She died Mar24th, 2012. I know they say you will recover. But is it too soon? I don't know, I just want to be with her again..please hang in there, there are other people out here that want to know it can be done. Cause right now I am not sure..Hang on...

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