three years a life time ago
today is 3 years that my twin flame left this earth in his physical form, the pain is always here, I'm so scared .I find myself thinking about all the things I should have said,done but my time had expired. I want to feel whole again,I have a giant gaping whole where love was. Will the pain ever go away ? I already know the answer. It's NO,it dulls sometimes but never goes away. there are times that's a good thing I tell myself IF I didn't feel so much pain so much loss it would mean I wasn't love soo much,of course that is my mind not my heart speaking. I wonder what the life lesson is in all of this?Jim always said I was strong,that I would be able to do this,but I don't think he realized how it is. I talk to him all the time,usually I'm yelling at him for leaving me(he wouldn't know it was me if i wasn't yelling at him for something:))there are so many things i miss about us,mealtimes are difficult,when he was here we would sit together and talk now it's just food. I miss his smile,his touch,even his constant repeating. I just miss everything about our life together.Sometimes i think, wow it's been 3 years,doesn't seem like a long time right? but in my life it's
been a eternity!!!