Three years, lost two sisters and my dad.
I don't even know where to begin. In my whole life I had very limited knowledge of death. My biggest fear was losing someone I loved in death. On March 16, 2009 this fear came true. I had just taken my youngest daugther to softball practice when my mom called to tell me that they were taking my oldest sister to the hospital. I didn't think anything of it and was thinking we would go see her when practice was done. As soon as practice was over my mom called again and told me that I needed to get to the hospital right away that they didn't think she was going to make it. My husband drove like crazy to get me there but by the time we got there she was gone. She was 48 years old. My sister Aundrea and I sat with her until the morgue came and got her. We held her hand and told her how much we loved her.
It was so hard but I made it thru the next couple of years and was finally feeling almost normal when in January of 2011 I met my mom and dad at the hospital because they thought that my dad had had a stroke. Couple of hours later they informed us that he had a brain tumor, a glioblastoma. The most fatal type of tumor. My dad went thru surgery and chemo and radiation for months. Then in November of 2011 he went in for an MRI and the cancer was back. He chose to not fight anymore and live with us much quality of life as he could. He lost his battle February 4, 2012, a little over one year since his diagnosis. My mom and my other three sisters were all by his side when he took his last breath. It was so sad yet so beautiful that we had time to say our goodbyes. We buried him February 11, 2012.
On March 30, 2012 I received a phone call at work from my mom that she was on her way to my middle sister, Aundrea's house and that EMSA had been called because she had collapsed. She had always been sickly but always seemed to bounce back from whatever came her way. I told her I would wait until she found out what was going on since I worked across the street from the hospital. She called back a few minutes later and informed me that my sister was dead. I broke down at work and my coworkers called my husband to come get me. I wanted to see my sister before the funeral home got there. I sat in the floor and hugged her and held her hand. It was truly heartbreaking. We buried my sister last weekend. She was my best friend. She was only 47 years old.
I am just broken hearted. Half of my family is gone. In three short years I have lost a father and two sisters. All I have left is a mother and two sisters. I worry constantly about who is going to die next, afraid it will be me. I worry about my mom dying. She has lost so much also. As a mother I can't imagine outliving two of your children. I worry about her as she is 71 years old. I feel so out of place. I tell people I'm okay and smile but I don't really mean it. I am thinking about going to a grief counselor because I don't think I can do this by myself. I can't sleep at night because all I do is see their faces. I am sad about my sister and want my daddy but then I remember he is gone too. I am just unsure about what to do!!