Thursday 4/28/2005 was the worse day of my life...........

Loving memories Micky D. Lizotte  11/03/1977 to 04/28/2005

Loving memories Micky D. Lizotte 11/03/1977 to 04/28/2005

On April 28, 2005- Thursday morning, I got a call at around 8:30am. From my son's place of work. Michele said that something had happened to my son, and that he was at the hospital in a different town. She knew where the hospital was and said she would come over to get me, to bring up there, and that she would be at my place in 10 minutes. Meanwhile I called my husband to tell him what was what; he knew where it was, and he'd meet me there.

She did indeed get to my house in the time she said, and off we went the hospital, I kinda knew where the hospital was, but she insisted on bringing me. That morning I didn't have to start work until noon. As we were on the highway, she said that I was very calm, she said when things happen to her kids, she is a basket case. Well I told her that my boys didn't like seeing my eyes red and I don't what happened and I'm not sure what's what, so I wasn't getting alarmed.

Of course she knew what had happened, but wasn't telling me a whole lot. Half way there Michele said, "Did I tell you they did CPR on him?" What the hell, get going faster. She didn't want to go faster, cause she didn't want a ticket, I told I'd pay for it so let's get going.....

Once at the ER, I didn't wait for her to park the car and so I ran in. I asked the nurse at the window about my son and she said wait a minute, that a nurse would come get me. So I waited and the nurse brought me to this waiting room and said that the doctor would be right with me. Just then my husband arrived and said did you see our son? I said no, that we had to wait here till the doctor came to talk to us. I knew right then that it wasn't good, when they bring you to a room and they don't tell you where he is; normally when you go to the ER they will tell you where they are right away, if you are a relative.

So be it; the doctor and the nurse took us to a little room and I remember just so well, we sat and in a very slow motion, cause I had this awful feeling this isn't good?!? This is like a dream, normally the doctors would bring you to your family member and tell what is happening to them. He asks if our son had taken a flight within that week and we said nope he had taken one the month before. What did that have to do with what had happened to him that morning?

He said they did everything they could to revive him, but it didn't work; he had passed, and from that point on I couldn't remember what happened except my husband kept saying, over and over again, that he was dead, he's dead, he's dead. The worse day of my life! How come he was so healthy, and why? He had had a physical the day before and everything was well. His blood pressure was great and everything was great and he had no complaints, or pain of any kind. Wake me from this dream please???

Our other son was at work and we knew that we had to have him with us. He arrived and he saw that we were crying and asks what on earth was happening??? We told him that his brother had passed and that we didn't want to see him until he was with us....

My husband and son were so so far away from me, I felt like that I couldn't reach them; everything was a blur and what had just happened? Like looking at a TV show and waiting for what will happen next. We had to wait for a nurse to bring us to the very next room that our youngest son was in. We were right next door in the ER... How sad our son was right next to us all along, all this time.

When we went into the room it was so small and all 5 of us were so close that what an awful feeling, he was in a closet, what the hell?!! This isn't cool at all, I remember trying to pinch myself to wake myself up so I wasn't going through this.. Why Why Why, what did we do so wrong for this to happen??? Why him? He had so much energy, why why why???? Such a wonderful man and so so so good to everyone. So funny, always making us laugh all the time...

Our oldest son had to be so strong for us and he went through a rough time.. He as well was in AWE, and his wife, couldn't believe it. Within a month after our youngest passed, to the one month anniversary, she asked our oldest son for a divorce, how sad???

As for the funeral, it was such a blur and I don't remember who was there and what was said. I do know this for a fact; he was so loved and he touch so many people. What can I say? I live everyday with tears in my eyes and yes I even went on meds for depression and have talked with counselors and all and the heart is so broken and I just can't find what will fix it.......

I have such a hard time going on with life, but I do because I do have a wonderful family. But one of us isn't here no more....

We love you, our son and yes, we will meet again, but meanwhile it hurts alot.........

Comments for Thursday 4/28/2005 was the worse day of my life...........

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May 24, 2009
other mothers
by: shelley palmer

I read your story and relived your pain. I too lost my son, aged 37. We had lost contact with him for 11 years and he found us after a very emotionally painful existence. We only had him back in the family fold for 5 months then lost him all over again, but this time permanently with no chance or hope of him ever turning up at our door in the future.

I cried for you and know the loss you are feeling. It is so sad for you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss. In your grief let yourself cry and try to share your feelings with each other in the family and other mothers.

Nov 23, 2008
Loss
by: Anonymous

My heart goes out to you. On Oct. 3, 2008, we lost our 16 year old daughter in a car crash. No one can know the terrible loss you feel inside unless they have been there.

Nov 08, 2008
No pain like it
by: Anonymous

I know what you are feeling. I lost my only son March 15, 2008 to a car accident. My loving beautiful 41 year old son gone in a moment's time.

I know what you mean--- it just doesn't seem real. Seems like you ought to be able to go somewhere and find him. My heart hurts for you.

Yes, we have to go on, but it is the hardest thing I could ever imagine doing. I want to honor his memory but that does not mean you always have to be strong. It is ok to break sometime.

All that love has to have somewhere to go now. It does not mean you do not love your other family members. But one can never replace another. The best thing I can offer is my prayers. Hold on and take minute by minute.

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