Til the End of Time
by Enjolie Dunn
I lost my mother 3 days before my 31st bday on March 2, 2013. I am a mother of 3 who was very close to my mother. We had a rough beginning to our relationship because my grandmother raised me and I had a lot of resentment towards her. I found out on Thanksgiving that she had only a few months to live but had been battling pulmonary fibrosis and COPD since 2007. I was in total disbelief. I repeatedly told the doctor that i didnt believe she was going to die. I believed that God would heal her. I was sure that God wouldnt get her and i so close then take her away from me. We had missed so many years of loving one another and I refused to believe that this was the end. She laid in that hospital for almost 4 months and fought hard as she could to stay alive. I was by her side every weekend until she passed away. I am doing my best to cope with losing her but at times I get into those crying spells and cant come out. I dont cry as much when the kids are home but while they are in school all i can do is lie around and cry. I asked my mom what was I going to do without her? She kept saying...you are going to be successful and raise my grandkids the best way possible. You see, my mom and I had gotten so close in the past 3 years. She did everything for me and my kids. Im lost without her. I use to call her every morning before work, during lunch and after getting the kids from daycare. I think this is where my deep hurt comes from...not being able to call and hear her voice. Each day I get a little stronger but Im still standing still in tears. I havent returned to work yet and school starts over for me in a few weeks. I just dont know where to go from here.....she was my EVERYTHING!! But UNTIL THE END OF TIME....I will always have her in my heart!!!