Time doesn't heal, i'll forever love and miss her

by ian millthorpe
(yorkshire, England)

I lost my wife and mother to our eight children to breast cancer three years ago and still I cry each night. I met my Wife Angie when we were just both fourteen years old, she was my first and only love and I've loved her with all my heart from the first day we met, Angie loved children and soon as we married she asked if we could start a large family and coming from a family of eight, I loved the idea! in 1991 Angie gave birth to our third son Reece, twelve month later she found a lump in her breast, she had breast cancer at the age of thirty, after a mastectomy and a five year course of drugs she was given the all clear, the first thing she asked for was to continue with our wish to have a large family, Angie gave birth to our eighth child Ella rose in June 2007, six months later she cancer we thought she had beaten returned and tore our world apart, Angie lost her battle in October 2010 leaving me to raise our five youngest children aged from ten to three years old on my own, in the last weeks of her life she told me I should move on after her death, and that if I should meet someone else I had her blessing, but three years later I still don't want anyone else in my life, I still feel that love for Angie and always will, all I want in life now is to create a life for our children that would make Angie proud, me and our children have become closer than ever but I still find it hard looking at our children without welling up at what they've lost, I never want our children to ever forget just how much she loved them so I wrote a book and was surprised when I got it published! Every one tells me how proud Angie would be of the book, i hope so because that's all I want to do in life, make her proud, The book is called MUM'S WAY and looking at the reviews, some people have wrote that it as helped them move forward after loosing a loved one to cancer, I really hope it does, because i'm sure you all know just how overwhelming grief can be.

Comments for Time doesn't heal, i'll forever love and miss her

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Dec 01, 2013
Family man
by: Lawrence

Hi Ian,
Strange your next book should be called “FAMILY MAN”, many years ago when my children were small I used to sing to them and play the guitar as they lay in bed, with my song,

It must be twenty years since I last played it, thank you for reminding me
I hope time is easing your pain.
Unfortunately I have writers block and can’t write a thing, I did reach chapter 27 of my new novel but now, nothing, I know it will go soon.
I will get your book on Kindle.

Dec 01, 2013
keep writing, Lawrence
by: ian millthorpe

Hi Lawrence, so sorry to hear you lost your beloved wife, i feel your pain, it's hard to face life without your soul mate, all the enjoyment in life seems to have gone when we loose them, it's nice to hear you had a full life together from teenagers to pensioners, my dear father in-law was 91 when he lost his wife and 21 days after her death i had to break the news to him that his youngest Daughter (my wife) had passed away too, he's 94 now and i make sure i go to see him every day, i can still see the grief etched on his face today three years later, i suppose this intense pain we feel called grief is the price we all have to pay for being blessed with true love. my book is available on kindle, i hope you will carry on writing Lawrence, maybe you should write your memoir as a tribute to your wonderful wife, the only reason i wrote my book was for our youngest children and future grandchildren so they can read all about the wonderful mother they were blessed with, i have started writing a follow up titled family man, i wish you all the best Lawrence, and hope you'll continue writing!

Nov 29, 2013
time doesn't heal
by: ian millthorpe

So sorry to hear you lost your beloved husband to cancer Doreen, it's a horrible, horrible disease that takes so many loved ones from us, I like the idea of you landscaping the garden in his memory, but so sad to hear that someone you trusted stole your husbands tools, I know just how painful that can be, I've had so many items stole from my wife's grave that our children have put on there, unfortunately there is some low life's out there who can stoop so low, my children are my whole world and give me the strength to carry on, I don't think I could have coped with my loss without them, I hide my grief from them and try to carry on as normal, it feels good watching the kids enjoying life again as do all the fun things together, bit it's a bittersweet feeling as my heart still aches for Angie at all the things she doesn't get to share with us as our children go through there lives, Thanks for commenting Doreen, I wish you all the best, and sending you a big hug too xx

Nov 23, 2013
Time doesn't heal, I'll forever love and miss her
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of your wife to cancer. You have your hands full with 5 children to raise and this will keep you preoccupied. Worst time of the year now Christmas is coming and when families get together ours is shattered. I lost my husband of 44yrs. to lung cancer 18 months ago. He died of an Industrial disease having cut asbestos in the workplace and a slow growing tumour developed over 40yrs. which was terminal. Inoperable, incurable, and aggressive. I nursed him for 3yrs.39days. A horrendous cancer journey that still affects me. I had our garden landscaped and built this in honour of my husband. I trusted my cousin's partner and now find my husband's prized tools have been stolen. He was the only one who had access to our garage. I now find 2 long ladders stolen. I have been left with a lot of anger. When grief strikes something happens to intensify this.
Ian make sure that whilst you bring up your children that you don't neglect your own needs. Do as many good things for yourself each day and this will raise your self esteem and heal you better. I also took ONE DAY AT A TIME and still do. This is how I cope. My heart breaks for people like you who have life so hard raising children without their mother. Life is cruel to so many people today. Your children will be a great blessing and joy to you at this time. I am sure you will raise them well and make your wife proud. May life treat you and your family well and give you God's Peace. Congratulations on your Book and may you be blessed with success and happiness. I pray that life will be good to all of you and that the New Year 2014 will be a good year for you all.

Nov 23, 2013
keep writing
by: Lawrence

As one widower to another I feel your grief and sadness so well.
It is three years since your lovely wife died and your pain is so overwhelming which doesn’t give me much hope.
I lost a beloved, cherished wife and sweetheart just eleven months ago on Christmas Day and the pain of her loss is indescribable and the sadness and loneliness still causes me to cry often but I am told is completely normal, but being alone is hell and whether it is normal or not I just can’t get used to it.
One minute a home full of children and a beautiful wife and usually chaos, the next an empty house which I can no longer call a home, just bricks and mortar, putting the key in the door knowing there won’t be a wife with a welcoming smile waiting still breaks my heart and I guess it always will.
We had nearly a full lifetime together from early teenagers to old pensioners in a wonderful passionate love affair for which I continually thank God for. We were so lucky
I admire you for writing your book; it must have been very difficult, I am also a writer having written many novels and short stories over the past thirty years, but since my wife died the words don’t come as easy as they did, I guess I needed her admiration and advise which always spurred me on.
Is your book available on Kindle?.
I know what you mean about not wanting anybody else; my lovely wife was the first girl I ever kissed and the last on her deathbed, like you I have no desire to kiss anyone else.
Don’t stop writing, it’s the best way to ease your intense pain, it doesn’t matter what you write. Short stories, children’s stories, your own experiences, anything.
I write for the sheer joy of putting the contents of my imagination on paper.
So, dear friend, it’s a matter of getting on with our lives and making the best of this terrible situation we are in, as best we can.
Take care

Nov 21, 2013
Time doesn't heal
by: Anonymous

My heart goes out to you. I cried reading your story. So sad for your children, you are a wonderful father. I am sorry for your loss and wish you well.

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