Time doesn't heal

by Gillian
(Ireland )

My mum died 8 years ago tonight at the age of 62 after a 2 year battle with cancer. I was 30. I miss her every single day. The pain now still feels as raw as it did when she was gone 6 weeks.

We were so close.

I've married, passed exams, had two children. All things which I want to share with her. We spoke every day on the phone, at least once.

Having my own children has made me realise how much she did for me and our family but it's too late for me to let her know how I appreciate all that she did.

I feel so lucky to have had such a wonderful mother. I wouldn't change one single thing about her. She was such a kind, thoughtful, hard working and selfless person. I'm still so angry that she was taken away.

Time doesn't heal. It just makes it possible to talk about her to people without crying all of the time. I hate tonight as it's the night 8 years ago she passed away.

That's another year that I haven't heard her voice, smelt her perfume, held her hand. I'm afraid that as time goes on I will forget some of her.


Comments for Time doesn't heal

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Sep 03, 2014
Time doesn't heal
by: Doreen UK

Gillian my mother died 11yrs. ago and it took me 9yrs. to recover from my grief. I lost my husband 2yrs. ago to cancer and I grieved some more for my mother at the same time. Some grief's overlap. You may be stuck in grief and could be helped with the aid and support of a grief counsellor. You owe it to yourself to HEAL from the loss of your mother otherwise you will be missing out on quality time with those you still have left in your life. Your grief will change and you will have better memories of your mother. You will never forget her, even as the years go by. Some memories are etched in us forever. Anniversaries always have a way of hurting us each year with what we have lost. I am now trying so hard to remember those years we had with each other. It seems so distant and far away, but I need to remember. Time is different for all of us. Time will only Heal when we have grieved our loss.

Sep 03, 2014
Time doesn't heal
by: Therese Dublin

Hi I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear mum.I can relate to all you said about you and your mum being close the phone calls and how caring she was etc. My mum was 83 I had her for a long time but it still hurts as much and you still feel angry that more could have been done to prevent their death.I can relate to wanting to share events with them, like your children's achievements and it all is so heartbreaking when they aren't here. I have a memory book of my mum where I have written memories so I won't forget. I too miss her voice and long to hear her call my name.All I can say is you are not alone and others feel as you do. Maybe some day it will get bearable I don't know. Sharing here helps and I know anniversaries are tough. I am sorry I cannot be more helpful.All the best.Therese

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