Tired of Saying I Miss You

I've been saying I miss you to my husband who passed 4 months ago. As I was writing in my journal the other day something hit me as sounding odd. The saying of I miss you. It's not what I miss at all. In reality I miss US. If you think about it isn't that what most of us feel?

There was no him or me ...it was US and I'll miss us being together forever.

Comments for Tired of Saying I Miss You

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Jun 09, 2011
Missing you, me and us!
by: Rae

My wife, Carol, passed away nearly 7 weeks ago. It is still early days for me, I still cry uncontrollably at times, still yearn for her to put her arms around me and tell me it's going to be alright. I still want to her walk in and wake me from this horrendous nightmare.
I miss you, Carol, and all of your joyous habits, I miss me and the person I was with you and I miss us, the people we were, the life we had, the friendship we found with each other and the love we shared.
This pain is difficult to face and to bear without you to help me - I depended on you, you were my rock - how do I go on alone? I just want us back but I know that cannot happen.

Jan 17, 2011
Who do I share with now?
by: Anonymous

I miss the us, I miss the we, I miss the let me ask Paul what he thinks. There is no doubt.

Now there is me...single solitary alone so very alone. It should somehow be empowering to be THE one to man the boat, take charge, make the decisions. I can do things MY way. Have the remote, do as I please. But it brings no joy.

I would gladly give control over to another. Allow someone to disagree with what I said or feel. What was compromise now seems like sharing.
And I so miss that.

I know....Oh I know I miss what was. Detest what is and try to find a middle ground where I can be comfortable and....start over.

Jan 17, 2011
missing you
by: Donna

I miss both Bryan as a person, a wonderful, exciting, loving, caring person, and us, we were one. I miss his smell, his smile, his laugh, his kiss, the list goes on and on. And I miss us, everything that we did together. I'm nobody without him, he made me what I am today. I miss sitting on our deck and watching the sun rise or set, us just admiring God's beautiful work. I miss us talking and dreaming of our future. Now how am I supposed to have any dreams, my other, no my best half of me is gone never to return. Bryan I miss you so much and I miss us and the us that can never be again. I love you with all of my heart forever

Jan 16, 2011
Yes, it was us!
by: Cindy

I had a wonderful husband for almost 35 years. He has been gone two months and I miss him with all my heart. He was never selfish, always giving. He was the most wonderful husband anyone could ever ask for. God blessed me with him and I am so heartbroken. Yes, I miss us. We did everything together. He took my heart to Heaven with him. I miss us so much, because when we got married, we became one!

Jan 16, 2011
more than that
by: Lyn Ann

If I'm being really honest, what I really miss, and what I am grieving, is the loss of MY LIFE. I loved my life. and Jim was intimately entwined in every part of that life, and now that life is gone forever. It sounds really selfish, but it is what it is.

I think that is what is different about losing a spouse or life partner. I lost my Dad, and that was a very sad experience, but that did not change my life. My house still felt the same, my day-to-day life still felt the same. But losing Jim is different. Nothing feels the same. Everything is different, from the second I wake up, to shopping for groceries, to taking out the garbage, to reading the newspaper... he was a part of EVERYTHING in my life. I loved that life. And when he died, the life that I loved also died.

I know I must move on. And maybe there is a new life waiting for me that will be just as wonderful as the one I lost. But at this point in time, I can't see past missing my old life.
Lyn Ann

Jan 16, 2011
by: Pat

You are so right. There are things I absolutely do not miss about my husband. He always wanted my 100% absolute attention. He would get a phone call from one of his friends and be on the call for 1 1/2 hours. I'd get a call from one of my friends and he'd start biting his bottom lip (an absolute sign of utter disgust). He criticized my cooking ~ he thought he was a master chef and he definitely was not.

I miss the us. I miss being a couple. During the Christmas holidays I saw couples out shopping together and I had to leave the store several times. I feel so empty without him. I don't know how to be without him. Married 35 years to the same man. I'm ony 56 and don't have any desire to ever look at another man. I miss us. Yes, that's what I miss...

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