To My Laurie

by Margaret
(Clearwater fl)

I found my only child 29 years old dead in my bed on 06/04/11. I have no friends or family left..She was my rock. Dont know how life goes on...

Comments for To My Laurie

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Apr 29, 2012
understand your pain
by: Cathy

Hi Margaret, I am so very sorry for the loss of your only child, it must be awful because i have lost my eldest son Brandon on 18th October 2011 within minutes, i thought he had fainted whereas he had a massive heart attack from which he never came back, even though i have other children i am going through so much pain , i cannot even imagine what you are going through, really terrible, the only thing i can do is pray for you for god to give you strength to go on till the day when you will be with her one day, it is easy for me to say difficult for you to do since you are all alone, i know the nights are the worse. I hope god heals you.

Jan 30, 2012
Thank you
by: Margaret

thank you for all your support on my losing my only child Laurie at the age of 29...finding her dead in my bed..I will never recover from...I am in counseling, group therapy...yet feel all alone..cry everyday..I pray for us all..

Jan 30, 2012
You are not alone
by: Suzi Craft

Hello, my name is Suzi Craft and I lost my only child, my daughter, on October 7, 2011 almost 4 months ago and I am still reeling from it. I am a practicing Christian and I have been able to reconcile every loss I have ever had except this one. She was 28 years old and was married for 6 years but had actually been with her husband for 13 years. She was a high school graduate and had attended community college. In 2008 she had problems with her liver and was under a specialist's care until early 2010. Then, he released her because her liver was normal and her blood tests were normal and she was doing great. 2010 was the greatest year for her and I and her husband. There was such a cohesiveness to our family unit, as they lived with me. Everything seemed great and I just knew that God and the Dr. had healed her. But then came the first week in October and I had not noticed her retaining fluid again nor did her husband but on Friday Oct.7, all of a sudden she got up from a nap and told her husband that her left arm was paining and he immediately called 911 but she took a sip of water and fell over and they could not revive her. From that time on my life just fell apart. I cried and cried and for the first time my faith was shaken and still is even though I know she was ready to meet her maker. I still have a hard time and I constantly ask God "Why" and why me and why did my only child have to be taken before she completed her time on earth? For me, time will be forever divided - Before Shannon's death and After Shannon's death. I also feel isolated and feel my purpose and meaning in life are gone. My son in law tried staying with me but he found he could not face it and stay at the house or sleep in the room that he and my daughter shared. So, he has moved on even though he still calls me every day and we are still connected. So I not only am dealing with the grief of my loss, I am also dealing with empty nest syndrome. Even though my family and my church family have been there for me, I still feel I grieve alone. I am not clinically depressed but I am so dejected and the overwhelming loss and despair takes you over so completely. So I understand exactly how you feel. I feel as though I am hanging on to faith by my fingernails but as God reminded me- its not my fingernails that sustains me- its His loving, upholding hand. And right now, that is what I need. When I cant hold on anymore, I just let go and let His Hand catch me and hold me up. So, I hope that this will help you- when you cannot hold on any longer- let go and let GOD hold you in His Hand while you release your tears of grief and questions that may or may not be answered in this life. But- ask anyway. I do. All the time.

Remember that you are not alone in your grief and that one day we will know the answers. For now, we see through a glass darkly- but one day we shall see clearly and know even as we are known.

Jan 19, 2012
I'm sorry Margaret
by: becky diaz Cobarrubias

Dear Margaret I got your name wrong Here I am calling you by your daughters name and I am so sorry for that, forgive me please! but I read this beautiful poem and I wrote it on my facebook page on the anniversary of Roberts death maybe you have heard it the name of it is( PLEASE) Please don ask me if I'm over it,......I'll never get over it.......Please dont tell me he's in a better place......he's not with me!......Please don't tell me at least he's not suffering.....I havent come to terms with why he had to suffer at all.......Please dont tell me you know how I feel........ unless you lost your only child.....Please dont ever ask me if I feel better...... bereavement isn't a condition that will clear up.......Please dont tell me "you had him for so many many years would you choose for your child to die?........Please just say your sorry!........Please just say you remember my son!........Please just let me talk about my son!......Please just mention my sons name"ROBERT!"...........Please just let me cry!..... Thank you everybody for being so supportive on the 4th yr. anniversary of Robert's death Becky Robert's mom!.......... So Margaret I thought this might help you a lil. write this down just change him for her and of course write her beautiful name LAURIE!!! thank you! Dear MARGARET!may God Bless you!

Jan 18, 2012
Loss of my only Child Robert
by: Becky Cobarrubias

Dear Laurie I will be no help to you, you see I too lost my only child a grown son Robert he was 34 yrs and he died in 2007 and I am struggling with his death for the past 4 yrs my life is so totally sad I hate the holidays and on Mothers day I want to crawl under a rock and die, I am 55 yrs old, I am not suicidal but I really dont care if I live anymore, you know what I mean? I feel like I have no reason to live anymore he was my only reason for living! he only died once but I keep reliving his death over and over again and I just dont know how to stop thinking of that horrible day that I stood over is hospital bed looking down at him thinking he was sick and asleep until my daughter in law said "he gave up on me" did I than realize that he was gone, thats when I started putting things together in my head thinking back, why the nurse at the nurses sta. told me "I need to get permission from his wife if you can go up to his room, nobody is allowed in his room, Robert committed suicide!(over dose) I totally blame myself because I feel that he didnt have the confidence to come to me to tell me what was bothering him, and I feel like people dont understand because most of the time when people loose their child they still have other children to live for but you and I dont have anymore children right? so I feel like nobody, understands unless you dont have anymore children right? Is that what your feeling Laurie? I have been cheated out of being a mom I am nobody's mother anymore now what? I'm so sorry If I put you on a bummer but I really want you to know that you are not alone my dear Laruie, and you prob. feel the same way I do, If I have insulted you or hurt your feelings in anyway shape or form let me know and I apologize for that and if you are feeling like me I am on facebook under Rebecca diaz-cobarrubias or my email is we can be friends I am so sorry for your loss and it does not get better but it does get easier thank you for listening to me rant! XOXO Becky

Jan 17, 2012
Love to all...
by: Margaret

to all of and prayers...if anyone would like to write me iam my name is Margaret...aka "Lauries mom" xoxox

Jan 16, 2012
From Lauries Mom....Margaret
by: Anonymous

To all you wonderful people who share in my pain. My heart goes out to you all. Losing my only child is something I will never recover from, I have no friends or family..I go to church, counseling and next month joining a group of people who like ourselves lost an adult child., the sadness is overwhelming..God bless us all

Jan 16, 2012
I pray the pain gets better
by: Anonymous

Dear Laurie,

I share your pain and I am very sorry for your lost. Especially she was your only child. I lost my 37 years old son on the first of July 2011 to suicide. He jumped from 21 floor to his dead. My heart is broken and I am devastated. I go to the psychiatrist and therapist and have some medication. I really know how you feel. I am still crying even it is close to 7 months after his death. I feel guilty and I will never forgive myself because he wanted to divorce and I discourage him. I did not know the situation. He was the best son that a parent could ask for. Please try to go to the group and share your story with them. That might help you a little. I would like to go to the medium to tell me about my son. I want to know how he is doing there. I read all over internet to see where is my son now. To me he is alive and he is not dead. He is in another realm and hopefully God will join me with him. I don't know if you believe that we will not die when we leave this world. Reading Near death experiences prove that there is life after death and prayers helped me a lot. Keep praying for your daughter. And tell yourself that you will see her when God wants you to go. I dreamed two weeks ago that my son got married. I even saw his new wife. He was smiling. Hang in there. The pain is always there and we will never forget them and maybe, maybe with the time we will get better.

Try to pray and take care of yourself.

Your friend

Dec 27, 2011
Missing My Daughter
by: Pat

Let me first say how very sorry I am for the loss of your daughter. I lost my daughter, Rebecca, on September 1...suddenly, unexpectedly. She was my only child and the love of my life. We were so close and now that she is gone I feel so empty inside and so very lonely all the time, even when others are around me. At Christmas no one spoke of her. I think everyone was afraid hearing it would hurt me. I wanted to scream her name out loud so many times, but I did not want to hurt anyone. And so I suffer in silence. I speak of her whenever I can. I don't want to give her up yet, even though I know she is gone. Christmas was just another day. Every day now is just another day. Everyone tells me it gets better but I cannot imagine it yet. I feel your pain and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Dec 27, 2011
my daughter
by: christopher

please let me say how sorry i am over your loss. i lost my daughter on the 21 december just gone. she was just 19 she got an infection that went to her heart and died suddenly. it was the worse feeling in the world when i got the call out of the blue. my pain is terrible and cant see it ever getting better just to say i really really do know how you are feeling .take care x

Dec 22, 2011
by: Margaret

thank you for your responses they mean so much and help me alot!

Dec 22, 2011
you are not alone
by: Anonymous

feeling all alone is very natural.

if you don't have family near by, reach out through a support group, church or perhaps co workers.

pray, He is there, lifting us when we are incapable of lifting ourselves.

don't expect a lot of yourself right away, you will come back in time. i did.

i don't expect to ever be the same, that's okay.

i will be the person i have become, and will try to do my best with what i have. i believe you will too.

please hang in and know that there are many people who will be thinking and lifting you up in their prayers...i know i will.

Dec 22, 2011
life goes on
by: Delores

I'm so sorry for you. Life does go on in it's own selfish uncaring way. you must be strong, please you must have at least one friend, maybe you are pushing them away.i did, please contact them. I have always been an independent woman but when richie died I found I was lucky with people who I didn't think cared. Or go to your local church, I don't believe they would turn you away.

Dec 21, 2011
So Sorry
by: Anonymous

My God I am so sorry

Dec 21, 2011
my heart breaks for you
by: Anonymous

Everything she did that made you strong is still there. The love you shared for her and her for you is still there. I am so extremely sorry for you. Please hang on. Life has many things about it that doesn't make sense, especially when the ones you love are taken from your life. However, You are not done until God says so. You have more to your journey, and you were so blessed to have your daughter be a part of your journey, and you hers. For now, try to go to places that stimulate your senses, not ones of familiarity, but new ones, new towns, cities, sights. Take in new stimulus so you don't crumble. Be friendly to strangers, that helps. There are many kind people on the planet to help you move forward. There is always opportunity for family... Talk to her. That is my last suggestion. That unbelievably helped me with a death. Talk to God. Please don't give up. In two years you will be able to pull up memories that make you smile instead of cry. You will also be proud of yourself for your strength and choices. God bless you and give you strength <3

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