today is a bad day

by rae

I cant believe I will never see you again.i Sit hear listening for your footsteps on the porch opening the door with your big smile always a kiss a hug the feeling of your big hands on my back your chin resting on the top of my head hey mom whats to eat? never again? never is to short of a word to encompass its meaning
I know where you are I know your happy Ive had my reassurances but this does not stop my loneliness for the sound,feel,smell,joy of your just being hear with me sad day too long at home sick with the cold cant work for 4 days. now the graveyard calls me yet again I have new flowers for you my love its all i can give you now when before i gave you all i had my heart my protection my undying love now only tears and flowers; bad day bad 2 years. never...i know its true meaning now. hard to type with so many tears. forgive me I am thankful for this forum but little else. I do have the memory of one person who had a undying love for me. never will unkind words be spoken between us,never will we argue(,and who can say that they have raised a boy to manhood and not)but i just want to lay my hands on my son. to hold him i miss him so much there are so many things i want to tell him and see him throw back his head and laugh. there is no end to this pain,loneliness,emptyness. never...such a small word

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May 17, 2012
If I made a mistake
by: Dylan's mom

Dear Rae, I looked back at my comment and realized that you never stated whether you had other children and I surmized that you did. I am sorry if I made a mistake. Regardless of that (I wish I had other children), my heart still feels the same for you, take care.


May 17, 2012
So like me
by: Dylan's mom

Dearest Rae, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your son. Every word you wrote echoes my own sorrow. I know every stab of pain you expressed. I lost my big beautiful son in March of 2011. He was only 27, and he was always laughing. My cooking was one of the highlights of his day. He never missed a "thankyou" for his meals. I go through each day missing him so much too. You see he was my only child. I feel as though my life is over, yet I go on breathing. I swear I'm dying from the inside out. Somehow we must go on, we have to discover how to live for ourselves and our sons. Someday you will learn to live again. Hold on to your blessed children, they will draw you back from the dark. Pray for me as I pray for

Love, Cindy

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