Today marks the 1st Anniversary of my Daughter receiving her "Angel Wings"

by Lynda Donovan

Kelli 12 weeks old.

Kelli 12 weeks old.

Kelli 12 weeks old.
Kelli 10 mos.old
Kelli 16 years old
Kelli 34 yrs old

After a year today, I still find it hard to believe that my youngest child Kelli is gone. She was 35 and so full of life. She was beautiful, loving, caring, compassionate, smart, funny, and extremely protective of her family. Especially her nieces and nephews. She definitely was the "glue" that held this family together. So I still ask myself "why???" every day.
It was a bright sunny warm day September 27,of 2011. We (myself and Kelli's Step Dad)had just driven straight through from Cape Breton, N.S. after a month of being away to Massachusetts. It was a long drive but I couldn't wait the extra day. I wanted to get home, and see my baby, I'd been gone long enough. We arrived at 4:45am, and I went directly to her room. She was sleeping soundly and I gave her light kiss on the cheek. I could relax now everything was fine.
I went into wake her about 9:45, asking if she was going to sleep all day. She said no but she had a headache. I gave her a hug. Everything seemed fine...until she remembered she had a follow up Dr's appointment @ 10;15. She had been being treated for an abscess in her ear off and on for almost a year. She called and he said he would sneak her in... I never gave it a thought that appointment was about to change our lives forever.
When Kelli arrived home she was crying, said the Dr. had lanced her ear again, and it hurt so bad. She explained that it tasted like she was swallowing gasoline, and her chest was burning. I told her something was wrong that we need to go to the hospital. But she said "No Mom, please, I just want to go lie down for a little while ". I asked again. The last words I heard her say was "Oh Mom I really don't feel good, I just want to lie down and I'll be fine"
Kelli was pronounced dead at 2:57pm that September afternoon. It no longer mattered that the sun was shining, I just knew the "sunshine" of our life was gone forever and our lives would never be the the same. I didn't want to go on without her.
Actual cause of death was classified as "Natural Causes" a term they use when someone her age dies of a heart this case they found Kelli had an enlarged heart and showed some signs of "sepses".
Nothing about a child dying is normal, nothing! I live with the guilt every day that I should have made her go to the hospital, and she 'd still be here. So now I'm left with photos and memories that just bring on the tears of pain from missing her so. I pray that some day I can look at these pictures and smile instead of cry, and begin to celebrate her life...she deserves it and I owe her that. R.I.P. my sweet Angel Kelli Donovan

Comments for Today marks the 1st Anniversary of my Daughter receiving her "Angel Wings"

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Sep 28, 2012
So sorry for your loss
by: Anonymous

God, it’s been a while since I have written to You, but You are almost always on my mind. Lately, I have been longing to see Your heart; to understand Your great love and who You really are. Then I seem to hear You say, “My Dear Daughter, study the cross where My Son died.”

And that is where I have begun to study . . . study the cross. But Father, such love You have for not only Your Son, but each one of Your children. You “so loved” that “You gave Your only Son” who died a horrible death upon a torturous tree ~ and He did it all for me . . . and you!

As You know, God, I have struggled with the death of our son and why You did not intervene to spare his life. I know You have the power ~ so why didn’t You use it? I read about Your great love that restrained You from yanking Jesus off the cross ~ especially when He cried out for You. What loving father could ignore the pleas of his suffering child? But it appears that You did. Then the reality of Your love hit me so hard, it took my breath away.

Jesus could not see You there beside Him in the thick darkness surrounding the cross, but You were there ~ so close You could have reached out and touched Him. I imagine every cell of Your soul cried out to take His place. I can’t even imagine the deep sobs that must have wracked Your body as You watched the horror Your Son had to endure. No doubt it took all the power of heaven to leave Him there. Didn’t it?

But the bigger picture includes a plan to save all of Your children who have ever lived on this earth. Doesn’t it? You have opened my eyes to this bigger picture. If I apply it to my personal loss and who You are and how much You love . . . to my son, You could have stopped his death along with everyone else’s ~ plus all the pain and suffering in this world. But if You did, how would we ever learn to hate sin? Hate it so much that we never, ever want it to reappear in heaven!

The bigger picture of my son then, is this: In Your endless love and mercy, You chose to save him for eternity rather than keep him alive in this old, beat-up world. You knew that he was living a life of unbearable agony in the hands of our cunning enemy. The contrast between you and satan is so apparent. You are a God who loves! O how much You love! This world doesn’t understand it. Heaven can’t contain it! Eternity will be long enough to explore it . . . and then, we will have just begun.

Thank You, God. Thank You, Jesus. Because You Love, I can love and trust and serve You faithfully until You come.

For God so Loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Sep 27, 2012
by: yolanda

I'm sorry for your loss, I know how you feel, I lost my daughter 3 weeks ago Sept. 11,2012. I don't understand she was happy I talk to her around 12;30am came home late from work at my studio,I very seldom work that late. I told I'm almost home, and that I love her. When I arrived I knew she was asleep, I said I'm home. I went straight to the living room to watch the news until 2:am lock the front door went to my bedroom with my husband and went to bed. The morning I heard all the dogs barking, I called Michelle out she didn't answer I ran upstair to find her pass away, I sream out Michelle, put her on the rug to give CPR but I knew she was gone, she was 30 turning 31 Sept.24. I don't understand why did'nt god direct me to her. She look peaceful with the covers on her. WHY!!! We loved each other so much, she took care of me always worry about me. Michelle will always be the love of my life!!!My heart is so heavy, confuse,guilty,

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