Today marks the 1st Anniversary of my Daughter receiving her "Angel Wings"
by Lynda Donovan
Kelli 12 weeks old.
After a year today, I still find it hard to believe that my youngest child Kelli is gone. She was 35 and so full of life. She was beautiful, loving, caring, compassionate, smart, funny, and extremely protective of her family. Especially her nieces and nephews. She definitely was the "glue" that held this family together. So I still ask myself "why???" every day.
It was a bright sunny warm day September 27,of 2011. We (myself and Kelli's Step Dad)had just driven straight through from Cape Breton, N.S. after a month of being away to Massachusetts. It was a long drive but I couldn't wait the extra day. I wanted to get home, and see my baby, I'd been gone long enough. We arrived at 4:45am, and I went directly to her room. She was sleeping soundly and I gave her light kiss on the cheek. I could relax now everything was fine.
I went into wake her about 9:45, asking if she was going to sleep all day. She said no but she had a headache. I gave her a hug. Everything seemed fine...until she remembered she had a follow up Dr's appointment @ 10;15. She had been being treated for an abscess in her ear off and on for almost a year. She called and he said he would sneak her in... I never gave it a thought that appointment was about to change our lives forever.
When Kelli arrived home she was crying, said the Dr. had lanced her ear again, and it hurt so bad. She explained that it tasted like she was swallowing gasoline, and her chest was burning. I told her something was wrong that we need to go to the hospital. But she said "No Mom, please, I just want to go lie down for a little while ". I asked again. The last words I heard her say was "Oh Mom I really don't feel good, I just want to lie down and I'll be fine"
Kelli was pronounced dead at 2:57pm that September afternoon. It no longer mattered that the sun was shining, I just knew the "sunshine" of our life was gone forever and our lives would never be the the same. I didn't want to go on without her.
Actual cause of death was classified as "Natural Causes" a term they use when someone her age dies of a heart attack...in this case they found Kelli had an enlarged heart and showed some signs of "sepses".
Nothing about a child dying is normal, nothing! I live with the guilt every day that I should have made her go to the hospital, and she 'd still be here. So now I'm left with photos and memories that just bring on the tears of pain from missing her so. I pray that some day I can look at these pictures and smile instead of cry, and begin to celebrate her life...she deserves it and I owe her that. R.I.P. my sweet Angel Kelli Donovan