Tom, the love of my life x

by Sheila
(Manchester, England)

Tom was diagnosed with Lung Cancer in October 2010, we were told the news on 5th October, my sisters birthday who I lost on 15th August 2010. Tom sailed through the chemotherapy, the tumour shrunk and radiotherapy was planned. He had the markings ready for radiotherapy but didnt feel very well on that thursday 3rd February 2011. we mentioned it to the Doctor who said she would check the CT scan he was having that day. We heard nothing. On Sunday my poor Tom couldnt breathe, I rushed him to hospital, he had double pneumonia, he went downhill and died on thursday morning 10th Feb. Im struggling with how it happened so fast. Ive known my Tom since I was 19, Im 58 next birthday. Life was good. Now I dont want to be here without him. I love you my Tom x
Im scared, Im all alone, no family close by and Tom was my life so no close friends either, he was my world and now its shattered.

Comments for Tom, the love of my life x

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Apr 15, 2011
Nearly Identical Story
by: Linda


Your story is nearly identical to mine. My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer the end of January, 2011. He had 1 chemo treatment and was scheduled for radiosurgery for brain lesions. He developed pneumonia (which turned out to be fungal pneumonia) and died on March 8th. We, too, had been together since I was 19. Now nearly 35 years later, I'm alone, terrified, hopeless, and devastated. We did everything together, and I don't know how to be alone. I feel as though I'm just waiting until God takes me also.

Apr 12, 2011
I miss my husnand more than words can say
by: Joy

I was really moved by your words Sheila.
I too lost the love of my life five months ago. I not only lost my husband but my best friend as well.

We traveled the world together and although we had no family or really close friends nearby it didn't matter. We were in love with each other and that was enough.

I live in a beautiful part of Australia and I should be thankful that I have a good life here. It's not the life I would have chosen but I will try to make the best of it.

I have decided that I will still go on traveling and I have made a real effort to join groups and get involved with some new people.

Even though my heart is breaking I will go on and make a new life for myself because I know he would expect that of me.

Apr 01, 2011
To Gisele in Miami
by: TrishJ

What a beautiful thing you said, "He holds your hand at night." The thought of my husband holding my hand at night is very comforting. Thank you. I needed that.

Apr 01, 2011
Hello Tom's Wife
by: Julie

Hi. My father in law, Tom, also passed away 3 years ago this year of lung cancer, he was 52. WE miss him terribly. We talk about him all the time and tell his six year old grand daughter stories about him..growing up, or fixing cars, or when they would spend time together, or remember the way he'd laugh? Then sometimes, one of his favorite songs will come on when we are driving and remembering him? I like to think of it as a sign he is still with us. It is very hard without family members to reach out to, we have few of those too. But the people on this website are very caring and helpful. You have a lot of memories to think of the good times. Or laugh at the wacky times. My heart goes out to you.

Apr 01, 2011
Lost The Love of My Life
by: TrishJ

Our stories are so similar. My husband, Joe, died on December 3, 2010. I also am 58. I was 19 when I met my husband and 20 when we married. He is all I know of this life. Now I must go on without him.
He woke up on that morning feeling really bad. He was on a list for heart transplant. I took him to the ER and things got worse. He died that evening at 11:22 p.m. My daughter's birthday was the next day. That will forever marr her birthday celebration.
I spent the first 60 days in a complete fog moving on auto pilot. I spend the next 30 days dreading each day at the thought of spending the rest of my life without my true love. I was looking too far into the future, didn't know what I would do without him (I still don't) and didn't want to get out of bed most days.
I've had to learn to trust and lean on God. I take only one day at a time ~ don't think about tomorrow ~ just worry about getting through today.
My heart is broken and always will be. I have to find a way for me to live without him. It's not easy. It is a scary prospect. Turn to your family and friends for support and visit this site. You will find a lot of caring people here. Crying is good for the soul. It really helps me. Grieving is necessary. Tom would want you to be happy in this life until you are able to join him. I'm just making little baby steps. I miss him every day ~ still having some really bad days. On those days I don't push myself. I'll make it with God's help and so will you. Peace, love and blessings to you.

Mar 31, 2011
Hello Tom's wife
by: Giselle in Miami

I feel your pain and I know it well. I, too, lost my husband of 10 years to cancer. He was 43 and had our life ahead of us. I lost my best friend. I lost my angel. I lost my love. I lost my live. My family is overseas. It was very painful and almost impossible to function, get up from bed, breath...but little by little, madure some months the numbness begins subsiding and you will breath again. You will feel him in your heart, you will see him in your dreams. He is there with you and he will find a way To let you know he is. He can hear your thoughts and feels your pain; he holds your hand at night.
You will be together again, until then, please go one day at a time and treat yourself like your Tom would care for you, the love of his life.
My heart goes out to you.
Giselle in Miami.

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