Tommorrow would have been my sweet son's 33rd birthday

I lost my sweet Aaron 9 weeks ago today. For his 32 years, he left such a sweet legacy. He didn't have one enemy. Everyone loved him. He was to be a first time uncle. He will never know that his younger brother's child was to be a girl. He was so excited about being an uncle. Im devastated, shattered and fragmented. Our family will never be the same again. He touched so many lives. I know it's been just a number of weeks, but i feel that my heart will never heal. Even though I am to be a grandmother for the first time, and a granddaughter to be proud of, my heart is forever broken. Like the song says, How Can you mend a broken heart, how can a loser ever win? I will never win again, because of the loss. I just don't know what to do. There's just emptiness.

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Jan 30, 2013
Tomorrow would have been my sweet son's 33rd birthday
by: Doreen U.K.

It is quite normal to feel the way you do. Carrying a child for nine months attached to you by an umbilical cord and then to rear him to be a young man only to then suddenly die is the worst pain and experience a mother goes through. It will feel for time as if you will never recover. But nature is not so cruel to let us live with so much pain without some release from day to day. I find that God is a very present help in times like these when one's heart is broken by death. Jesus himself suffered this same grief and is touched by our humanity. God is our only comfort and Hope. this is how I cope with death and loss. It is not an easy place to be. Our world has been altered forever. I lost my nephew at 30yrs. of age. It is such a painful time for a mom. My sister felt MAD with GRIEF. I am sorry for your loss.

Jan 29, 2013
Sweet son's mama
by: Anonymous

I wrote about my sweet Aaron a few days ago. I am thinking of all the parents who have lost a child or an adult child. My thoughts are with all of you on this site as well as the ones who have lost parents anything or anyone they have loved. It's a loss. Plain and simple and it hurts. I wanted to share something else with all of you who are reading, writing and grieving today and every day for the rest of your lives. Aaron was cremated and a very close family member has his ashes as I cannot bring myself to look at them, scatter them, much less see the urn. I'm not ready to look at pictures. It's just too too painful right now. I know in time it will come. But not right now. However, I can listen to music and some of the songs that are wonderful sweet reminders of him. I would like to share these with you. The first song I ever sang to him he was about a week old. It was the old John Denver song "Sunshine On My Shoulder" (makes me happy), Aaron truly made me happy. I will share this song with my granddaughter in June. The other one was by Allison Krause (one of Aaron's favorite singers as he loved country music) "Baby O Mine" which was from the movie "Dumbo". I took Aaron to see this movie when he was about 5 years old. Another country artist that he and his brother and I love is Miranada Lambert. The song is "I Just Really Miss You". Another singer/songwriter who is wonderful is Patty Griffin. I found this song a couple of weeks ago on YouTube. The name of the song is "Goodbye". Last but not least was Aaron's favorite singer Amos Lee. We are from the south, so "Southern Girl" was played at his memorial. I tried to listen to it this morning, but just couldn't get through it. I just wanted to share some of these songs that truly mean something to me and have memory and meaning behind them. I CAN promise everyone, these will make you cry, but as we all know it helps to purge and cleanse when we do cry. Again, my heart felt love goes out to each and everyone of you. I am not alone.

Jan 28, 2013
losing middle aged children in November
by: Dan in Burton Mi

How ironic that a half dozen parents on this site lost sons suddenly in November in their 30's. My son Todd died Nov. 19 in his sleep of a burst aneurism and i share all of your pain. NO ONE who hasn't lost a child knows how we feel. It's been 68
days and i'm just now functional. POSITIVE HINT; Do what you know they would want you to do. Stay busy or it'll drive you crazy and your son or daughter would NOT want that. Try "structured" greiving; a set time and place of journaling, looking at photos, crying, then finish with smiling and thinking of their LIFE, not just their death. Anyone who wants may e mail me. I'm a retired 65 year young entertainer and Todd was my first son and best friend. If i can help another parent just call me at 810-624-2436 or e mail me at I'm not religious and that makes it a little rougher; i know if there's a heaven Todd's there but i'm not sure. Peace and comfort to all parents. Dan McPhail Burton MI

Jan 28, 2013
Your son
by: Katr

I am so sorry,my 39 yr old son passed away Nov.17 2012
And I awake every morn with the loss on my mind,wondering why and how now to make life meaningful. Shattered and devastated are words I know. Each one in our family feels the loss,my Louie was loved by all too. Death is so hard,my heart goes out to you. It changes the whole world as we know it. The hole in my heart will never be filled, a piece of me went with my son. I miss and love him so much. Sharing grief with you.
I don't even know how to walk the path,baby steps inching forward for the others who loved him.hugs to you and his Louie has one brother with 2 children who miss him. There are 3 sisters and more and all of us have a heavy path as you do too. We are together in this sadly.

Jan 27, 2013
So sorry for your loss
by: marie

We both lost our sons almost at the same time (Nov. 17th was the tragic date). Every single day, I light a candle by an altar I have arranged with his cremated remains. The candle makes me feel he is alive in our hearts. I am so sad as the rest of the family. He has a brother so attached to him who stopped school and can't find meaning in his life. Each member of the family is coping differently and God knows how each one deals with the loss. I almost gave up my own studying but thought that my son would not want to see me crying all the time. I feel like I am in a time capsule, never knowing when I would have another great meltdown. The studying keeps me occupied but my soul is completely empty. I have lost faith as well considering that I have prayed for the safety and welfare of my family every single day. Just like the twin towers, where is God in all these? It just feels like we are in a different planet. My heart cries out for you.

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