Tomorrow is Our Birthday

by Maryann

For the last 19 years my husband and I celebrated our birthday together. I remember on our first date how surprised we were to learn that we have the same birthday. I am 8 years older. Tommy ended his own life 2 1/2 months ago with a bullet to his heart. We were separated at the time but I still loved him very much and I always will. The pain of grief is so bad I don't know how to go on. I cry and pray a lot but this loneliness is unbearable. He was only 46. I will be 55 tomorrow and I dread tomorrow so bad.

Comments for Tomorrow is Our Birthday

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May 20, 2014
For Doreen
by: Maryann

Thank you so much Doreen for your comments. I helps a lot to know someone cares. I'm so sorry you are also alone. I too look forward to the day I will see my husband again. This life is not easy and sometimes so unfair. Some days are better than others. I count my blessings and that also helps. I wish many blessings for you!
Thanks again!

May 17, 2014
Tomorrow is Our Birthday
by: Doreen UK

What a tragedy and I am so sorry for your loss of the man you loved and lost. It will be hard celebrating your birthday so soon at the same time of grieving the loss of a husband who shared the same day.
In time you will find a way to honour your own birthday and also celebrate your husband's in a different way perhaps going to his graveside and making this day a remembrance of all the good things in life you shared.
On TV yesterday we had a celebrity who was asked how she will celebrate our lovely weather. She said that she and all her entire family were going to the graveside to honour all the people they lost and to have a party to celebrate their lives. I was very TOUCHED, and MOVED, by her attitude which helped me look at my loss in a different way. In life many people who have lost loved one's will in time be able to do this. A thought for the future.
Meantime. Take ONE DAY AT A TIME. This is the only way forward. The worst aspect of loss is the LONELINESS and EMPTINESS one feels and is left holding. The pain of losing a spouse is like nothing we can describe. The pain is so unbearable we fear the pain would kill us. It has been 2yrs. since I lost my husband to cancer. I have a wave of panic every now and then when I wake up in the night and know He is never coming back. I see clearly his face on the last day he lived and how he said to me "This pain is killing me" whilst I held him tight and screamed down the phone for a doctor to come and give him morphine for the pain. How they took 3hours to come and I prayed instead for God to work quickly and take his pain away. A battle and cancer journey I can't forget. It will take a long time for all of us to lose those memories of how our loved one's suffered and died. Knowing Jesus is coming back for us and to re-unite us again gives me the hope to go on living each day. But I miss his presence with me. He is safe and protected by God. He is not in pain anymore. No one or anything can hurt him anymore. This I find comforting. But OH!! How much he wanted to live and enjoy his retirement. This is what I will miss. Years alone without Him in my life. I hate being ALONE. I spent years having many people around me and now NO ONE. Everyone has moved away. Kids living their own lives. BUT. I do try to make my days better in between the loneliness. I make my FREEDOM. Work for me in the best way possible. May God be close to you and comfort you and give you His Peace.

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