Tony half gone

Any who've spent time here truly knows a special kind of pain, the loss of a soul mate. There's nothing like it in this life, nothing. Everyone on here should tell their whole family to 'prepare' now, for this meteor to hit you or your soul mate eventually. Give her or him that kiss that gift. Do that thing so helpful. Tell her or him how much you love them and hug them often every day! Dont waste another minute.
It's so evident that the big C is the main, serial slayer of those we wrap our souls up with for life. I've been told it's random, not personal and can strike any of us. What I can't stand hearing is that it's "God's plan" or part of it. I believe that to be either horrible misinformation or a vicious lie.
It's been almost 3 weeks since I lost Joan to glioblastoma (Ted Kennedy's disease). I have to strive to discipline myself to eat, keep busy, see others, even family. I would just as soon die. Her passing was painless but she was visibly grieved at the ambush and that particularly stabbed me and twisted the dagger.
Most importantly I'd like to say to the rest of the 'lost souls' of their mates, to get professional help. Get meds. Do something. Don't just wait this thing out alone. If you think seeing a 'shaman' would work, then I think you should try it.

Comments for Tony half gone

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Feb 09, 2012
by: Joanne - Canada

Hi Tony: Thank you for commenting on my post, I appreciate it. I agree with you 100%, who feels like eating or even existing? I would trade places with Tim in a second if only I could. I prayed and begged that he would get better the whole time he was in the hospital and it did no good. Your wife and Tim went through exactly the same thing, Tim was also on morphine drip, of course, to combat the pain. He did have terrible pain for probably 1/2 hour the day before he passed away because his IV had gone interstitial and wasn't feeding into his vein. I got the nurses immediately and they found a new site and increased the dose until it took hold. My heart absolutely broke for him that he had to go through that pain. People say it will get better, I don't believe that. How can it ever get better when 1/2 of oneself is gone and your heart is 1/2 gone. I already notice that when people fill out forms, they put down that I am 'single.' I am not single, I am married and always will be married to Tim. I am actually going in to have a tattoo done on my shoulder as a memorial to him. Cancer is always something that happens to someone else, and you always feel for them, but until it happens to you, you have no idea how it feels. I look at his picture every day and ask why did it have to be him??? There are so many terrible people in this world that do nothing but hurt themselves or others, why did it have to be my husband?

I will think of you daily missing your wife as I miss my Tim every second.

Jan 09, 2012
I agree
by: Anonymous

I agree. There is no reason other than the disease itself. And we need to fight it with everything we can find.

That I can live with. Thinking that such cruelty is part of a bigger plan is very upsetting and indeed someone has some 'splaining to do.

I take comfort in having tried everything under the sun to help my husband. The ugly C won this battle. But it doesn't win every battle.

Dec 27, 2011
copy that
by: Tony

we seem to be of the same mind - no excuses or 'spin', just some accountability and sensible reasons. the only real 'coping mechanisms' seems to be time itself, and sharing with others.
this random crap / drive by shooting of innocents seems to be a permanent marker of serious questioning for me. people such as our loved ones try to live healthy loving lives and a 'meteor' from nowhere hits them while evil, prospering ones go free and live well.
I'm an eye witness to this and I assume you are too, and if this isn't random and there is 'a reason for everything' then someone has some serious 'splaining' to do for me. If random, then oh well, then death's 'sweet release' will be welcome for me.

Dec 26, 2011
by: Anonymous

cancer sucks,i just lost my dearest brother(44),two weeks ago to cancer,my heart is shattered forever.i also can't stand the stuff people say(he's in a better place) (it was gods will) etc. it is killing me inside.i wish you the best and i am sorry you must endure this pain.

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