I'll keep this short. I was close with my younger sister through childhood. In adulthood we had some problems (family issues) and stopped speaking. I always knew that either she or I would reach out and get this resolved and if she didnt, I was going to. Well, she died suddenly. I have not yet gotten over this, not because she is gone, but because I didnt fix things first. She died thinking I hate her. Live with that for a while.