Too little time together

by Linda LaPira
(Stowe VT USA)

Too little time together. We were together for 36 years and married for 30 years. My spouse was retired and I was still working. I would talk to him every day, during breaks and at lunchtime. Sometimes we would talk a lot other times it was short and sweet, just a hi and I love you. He would also say I love you every time he saw me. At times I became annoyed with him for saying it so much and would ask him if he thought I didn’t love him. He told me you cannot say it enough and he was right. I now tell him every day as many times during the day as I remember him. I miss him telling me that he loves me and would give anything to hear it one more time from him.
Our last day together was wonderful, it was a Friday, May 24th, and raining. We laughed all day, had a great dinner, watch a movie and made love that night. It was wonderful. He woke me up early Saturday morning and asked for his nitro pills. (Joe had a heart attack twenty-one years ago and also had the pills with him). I gave him the pill and he asked for a second pill and told me to call 911. I did. He asked me not to leave his side and told me he knew this was it. I didn’t believe him.
We made it to the emergency room, where they did CPR. He survived and was transported to a major hospital. He lived in the ICU for 7 days. His family made it to his side to say their goodbyes. I had to ask him if it was time to let him go. I whispered the request into his ear and when I looked into his beautiful face, he blinked to let me know it was time. I did as he requested. This was the hardest thing I have ever done. I had to let the love of my life go.

Comments for Too little time together

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Jun 18, 2013
by: Lawrence

I am crying as I write, I have been in exactly the same position when the doctors asked permission to stop CPR saying she would be brain dead if they got her heart beating again, I told them to let her die as she did within seconds. I closed her eyes kissed her and said” Goodbye Sweetheart”, so ending a seventy year love affair.
That was nearly six month ago and the pain and anguish has lessened but still very raw and I still cry tears of agony at the thought of never seeing her again. I watched her grow from a young sweet teenager to a beautiful pensioner. I was head over heels in love with her from the moment I first saw her, I thank the good Lord for sharing her with me.
But such is life and I am grateful as I’m sure you are for the wonderful years of happiness.
There are no words of consolation just be thankful you had such a wonderful marriage and I can only repeat “GRIEF IS THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR THE LOVE YOU HAD”.
Take care of yourself and if the pain gets too bad seek help.

Jun 18, 2013
too little time together
by: Anonymous__Mi

To Judith and Linda----I feel the pain of what you both write about the loss of your husbands. I am into the 7month mark of going along without the love of my life. We were so happy and in love and married for over 43 years. It all went by way too fast and suddenly he was gone to heaven from sudden cardiac arrest. This roller coaster ride is unbearable at times but like Judith said--God is our only hope and answer to getting through the days without loosing our sanity. Everyday I look to the Lord for His strength and help through this dark time. God is my Solid Rock and On Him I stand, All other ground is Sinking Sand. God be with all of us who post on this site as we go through this together.

Jun 18, 2013
Too Little Time
by: Judith in California

Linda, it is indeed the hardest experience you'll ever do. I,too, have gone through what you are nw going through. I say going through because I know where the grief journey is taking you. It's been 2 years and 9 months for me and though I have reached the peaceful accepting side of it I still miss him every day and mostly miss US. There is not a day that goes by that I don't say I love you and miss you. 35 1/2 years together doesn't stop just because they die. Those years went by so fast. What I'd give to get them back.
I could not be where I am today without the strength from Our Heavenly Father. Please take every chance to grieve your way, anytime, anywhere and forgive people when they say dumb stuff because they haven't gone though it yet.

Take care and God bless you on this horrible roller coaster ride of grief.

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