Too many to count

In 1985 I experienced my first losses. That year I lost 10 people in 12 Months, including my Grandfather who was more like my dad than my dad was. A year and half later my mother-in-law was murdered in a domestic violence situation. The year that followed was filled the trial and was very hard on the entire family. Shortly after I became pregnant with out third child (our two children were 8 & 10). Our son was born with a rare condition called hypo plastic left heart. He died at 6 days of age needing a heart transplant. One & A half years later our fourth child was stillborn at birth. this loss was followed by several grandparents through cancer, an accidental drowning,etc. My husband passed away 9 years ago at age 46 of ruptured aorta 6 weeks before our oldest daughter's wedding. Since then I met the most wonderful man in a grief support group. His wife had died suddenly as well from an unknown infection in her heart at age 40. We feel that God brought us together. We could not be happier after 8 years of marriage. Our home that we purchased together after getting married and selling our individual homes was struck by lightning 1 1/2 years ago. We lost most everything & have rebuilt and replaced our things. in January my father died after a 6 month battle with sudden onset Alzheimer's and diabetes. I have a very strong faith in God that has helped me endure. As I'm grieving my father and watching my mother grieve as I have had too do so many times, I realize that I feel as though I'm struggling with so many losses that I can barely keep all of the feelings separated. I know grief like it's a 'best' friend. I'm very tired from all of it. It feels as though I can never really get through one loss before one or more hit.

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