Too Much Regret

by Liz Bucciero
(Bay Shore NY, USA)

Mom and Billy

Mom and Billy

I lost my Mom on March 18th 2010, I was not ready nor expected this to happen. She went into the hospital for something minor and never came back home. I never got to say goodbye or tell her I loved her. I know she saw me by her bedside holding her hand, letting her know I was there and telling her "Mom I love you, why is this happening?"

I am 33 yrs old and can't grasp hold of this. I am not supposed to be the "grown up" and have to bury my Mom. I am one of 8 siblings. We all had a very different relationship with my Mom. I could tell her anything, she would call me to say "I just wanted to make you laugh". I have no one to call me and say that anymore. What about giving me advice with my own kids? Everyone says it gets easier, when does this happen? I also lost my Mother in Law 5 months before my Mom passed. I feel very alone, very angry and torn up inside. Please any advice or support would help.

Comments for Too Much Regret

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May 16, 2010
by: Melissa

Liz, so sorry about your mother. We have a very similiar situation, I am 32 and just lost my mom on April 2nd. The first couple of weeks were a blur, I "thought" everything was going to be ok, but then, the phone calls stopped, the visitors are gone, and I too feel all alone. It hurts worse now than it did a month ago. It's like everyone wants me be the same person I was before but how can you lose someone so close to you and get over it in a month?

I try so hard to put on a happy face when inside I am completely crushed. I feel like we have been cheated, we are too young to lose our mothers! I wish I knew when some of the pain would go away. I try to keep myself busy from morning to night, but some days I allow myself to sit there and cry. Your mother knew you loved her, as did mine. Ive always heard that "time will heal", I guess we will have to see about that. Once again, I am so sorry about your mother, I can definitely feel your pain.

May 15, 2010
by: Anonymous

I cried when i read your story i am so sorry for the pain . I am going through pain i can't bear. Be strong you have people around you that love you. I am alone learning a new world i do not want to learn . My heart goes out to you. Thomas

May 15, 2010
Fresh grief
by: Anonymous

I wish that I could fast forward 6 months, a year and take away the pain you feel. Your grief is new and there is no magic potion or time lapse that will get you through it quicker. Keep reading, this site is wonderful and I don't know what I would have done without it.

Initially I would rush in the house to tell my husband something knowing he wasn't there, because I always shared everything with him, it's quite an adjustment. Let Grief take its course and remember all that was good and wonderful about your mom. HH

May 15, 2010
Loss of a Parent is the Hardest
by: Down Under

Liz, condolences on the loss of your mum. You asked when does it get easier, well no one can really answer that. Losing a parent is an unexplainable grief we feel. I lost my father Aug 09 and have only now, after 9 months, come out of my depression and actually believe that my father is not here anymore.

It's not easy and you will need family & friends support around you to get you through. Talk about your feelings and don't hold your grief in. Keep visiting this website and you will see you are not alone and what you are feeling is normal for a grieving person.

You will begin to laugh again at the funny things your mum did and said. Keep those happy memories alive in your heart, Liz. xo

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