Too soon

by Doria

Hi, I'm from Croatia, 15 years old and I'm sorry for my English. My mum died 1 year ago. At first I was resigned to the fact that she is dead but now more and more often i miss her and i just want to hug her, be better to her and not just ignore her. her death happened so quick, 2 days she was complaining for some flue and pain in her chests but i didn't took it seriously because she was a strong woman and didn't get sick often. then the third day she went to see a doctor and they told her that it was because of the stress and it will get better, next day she could barely breath and walk up stairs and some kind postman brought her home because of her weakness. I was home alone when she got some seizures so I quickly called emergency doctor but it was too late, she died and I felt so weak that i couldn't help her. I hate myself because I didn't spend more time with her, i was to preoccupied with boys, hair and other teen problems and I ignored her and barely talked to her. I often wonder how this would be if she is alive , I want her back so she can be my best friend that I can tell every secret. I feel so sad because she had not experienced my 15'th birthday and that she won't experience my other beautiful moments in my life, she left so quickly but I hope that she is in a beautiful place now.

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May 15, 2012
So sorry
by: Anonymous

Dear Doria,

I am a mother who lost a young son, a bit older than you are. I also have a daughter who is 15 now. She is a teenage girl and she is preoccupied with friends and other things that are typical for teenagers. My daughter is deep down a good girl and this is what I see despite the fact that she has emotionally moved away from me lately while bonding closely with her friends. Being a mom and a grown up, I understand that this stage is very normal in the life of a young person. I am here, loving her, watching her carefully to make sure that she does not get in trouble, and ready to help when she needs me. This is what mothers do. This is what your mom wanted to do for you and keeps trying to do that from heaven. I am sorry that you have to do without her physical presence now. She died because she got sick. You could not have known what was going to happen: Remember that even the doctor did not realize how seriously ill she was. We are all only humans. You are your mother's daughter. You carry your mother in your heart, in your thoughts and even your body is physically carrying on your mother's traits. She is not all dead because she lives in you. I have been sad to loose my son and I would give my life to bring him back. I cannot do that. You cannot have your mom back now. But we remember the good about them and we miss them. If you think about it that is "against the nature" to think well about those whom we lost because it makes us unhappy. If this was all in this life then we should forget our loved ones quickly and remembering the bad things about them would make this easier. But that is not what happens. We love them just as much and remember the good about them. We are "programmed" against the nature to be attracted to lasting love and the good. This would suggest that there is some Good God that we seek. With that, I am trying to hope that my son and your mother are in a better place and we might meet them again Remember your mother's love for you and may you grow in peace and happiness.

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