Trenton 10/19/97-2/25/08 my beautiful boy is now an angel.

by Kim R
(Tn, USA)


When I found out I was pregnant with twins I was shocked, sad and cried for days. I was 20 and had took precautions and still got pregnant. To say my pregnancy was difficult would be a vast understatement..I was sick the entire time, not just in the morning any time of day was fair game. I was also in out of the hospital multiple times, until I was finally hospitalized until the babies were born. The day after I was admitted I was informed that twin A would not make it, I was a complete shock, the other hospitals never mentioned a problem... he passed 2 weeks later, and one week later I gave birth to my stillborn son and my beautiful Trenton. He weighed 3 lbs 7 oz, and I found out what true love was really about once I laid eyes on him. He was born 2 1/2 months premature and seemed well, he only had to stay a month before he came home..the night before he was discharged we were called into a neurologist office to be informed that my son had problems and rattled off some absurdly long term..which I later found out was cerebral palsy. My son could never walk, talk, feed himself or any of the basics that most children can do, I was his lifeline. For all the problems he had you would never know he was in pain or hurting, he always had a big smile, the cutest giggle and was such a happy boy. We had such a strong connection and bond, even though he couldn't verbalize I could just understand him, I could walk into a room and not make a sound and he would start looking for me ...just could sense me there. In late 2007 I found out I was pregnant with another son on 2-28-08 I went into the hospital to have my son, he was perfect, healthy, and I was so thrilled, Trenton would have a child around. Little did I know that with in less than 9 hrs my happiness would be gone only to be replaced with fear, pain and hurt. My mom called and said Trenton had quit breathing, my world fell apart, I remember hearing those words and screaming and trying to rip out IVs so I could get to him, but the Dr refused to release me, so until the 27th I just was getting second hand info. They had to take him to another hospital other than one I was at over a hundred miles away. The day I was released I showered and left my newborn son with a trusted friend, only to face the hardest challenge I hope that I will ever face. Within 5 min of arriving the Dr informed me of the prognosis and told me I had to make the decision to take him off or leave him on life support...hardest thing I ever had to do...2-28-08 I sat and held my boy, sang to him and let him know that it was OK to let go...his fight was over...it seemed like such a long time, in reality it took 4 min before he passed. The minute his heart stopped, I felt a chill and my heart literally break...without even glancing at monitors I knew my beautiful boy was gone..I didn't know it was humanly possible to feel that kind of pain...I wouldnt wish it on anyone. It has almost been 6 yrs and I still haven't gotten myself back on track...I don't know how to accept it, I miss him everyday and his brother knows all about him he talks about him a lot. I miss you my beautiful angel and I hope I get to see you again one day, and I love you more than words can say.

Comments for Trenton 10/19/97-2/25/08 my beautiful boy is now an angel.

Click here to add your own comments

Feb 07, 2014
Trenton
by: christine

My heart aches for you. My son was 38 when he passed a year ago, will never get over that either. He was my only child. He loved children but never married or had any children of his own. Rest assured when I tell you Trenton is doing great. He is in the arms of Jesus, and I am sure my son is right there. We will all be together some day. Turn to God for strength and hope. That is the only way I could get by. God Bless you.

Feb 06, 2014
The pain never goes away
by: Anonymous

You have to accept the pain as part of life, and to 'go on' for the sake of the children, friends, family but this past January 5th, it's 3 years since I love my son. I think the first year I was in a fog (I don't even remember any of it), the second year you're starting to get on with life because others have forgotten and this being the third year, it seems like all the feelings are coming to the surface. Yes, it still hurts like hell. I don't talk to friends and family anymore because society feels you need to move on and forget (or be more accepting of his death). As I sit here reading your story, I feel your pain and loss as if it were that day we lost them. Will I ever be the same, no. Will I ever be happy again, I'll be as happy as I can be but never as happiest when he was here. Everyone tells you that death is a part of life, but it's the worse thing about living life, losing the ones we love, especially children. Feel your pain, cry when you can and don't ever forget.. You've heard 'you're not alone' and I pray for god to give me the strength to carry on and have faith that things will somehow be better for both of us...it's ok to always feel the pain because it will never go away... Love always, Mariellen

Feb 06, 2014
There Will Be Brighter Days
by: Becky

My heart goes out to you for the pain you have. I do not know what it feels like to lose a child, but I do know what it feels like to lose a Mother. The pain never stops for me. Your beautiful boy is now in heaven, all well, and strong, and healthy. We can only imagine what heaven is like, but we do know there is no pain, sorrow, nor death. Trenton is walking with Jesus, running & playing on streets of gold, always light & never darkness. The band Mercy Me has two songs that give me comfort when I hear them, "I Can Only Imagine", and "Move". The first songs is about what you will do when you first see Jesus, and the second has a line in that states There Will Be Brighter Days For I Am Not Here To Stay, how true this is. Some day you will see Trenton again to never be separated, there will be brighter days.
I know that Trenton is in your heart forever and always in your thoughts. My prayers are with you.
Becky

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Theirspace.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • XML RSS
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget
->


 POPULAR
  RESOURCES


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the

GRIEF CLUB


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief
Program

Free Griefwork
E-Course

Free Stress
Management
E-Course



SBI Video Tour!