Triple Whammy

by Lyndall
(Queensland, Australia)

In October 2007 my husband had a triple bypass. His cardiologist had told us he wasn't suitable for surgery however he was moved to the "heart hospital" & his only chance was to have the surgery. He survived the operation, however he had many complications and during the next 12 months he spent most of it in hospital with pneumonia, renal failure or infections in the graft site. He was near death a few times.

Meanwhile my mother was asking if I could visit her as I hadn't seen her for nearly 12 months. She was a 10 hour drive away. I couldn't leave my husband's side and was sitting with him during a time when all his meds had been taken away & he was connected to a morphine drip - he was going to die.

I got the phone call from my sister that my mother had passed away suddenly on April 1st 2008 from a heart attack. It was just too much to bear. I had to go inter state and bury my mum not knowing if I would see my husband again. It was all so unfair. I didn't get to see her or say goodbye - she was only 76. Her friends were all 10 years older - how could this happen?

My heart was broken and I was going to lose my husband too. He pulled through though & after 3 months in hospital he came home. He managed to spend another 9 weeks at home before going back to hospital. On October 6th 2008 we scattered mum's ashes in the ocean near where she saw her beloved dolphins every day.

My husband passed away on the 19th October 2008 from pneumonia. Even though we knew it was coming & he wanted to go the pain is just gut wrenching.

On the 3rd December 2008 one of my staff didn't turn up for work. It was so out of character. I called the police as she lived alone and they found her dead in the kitchen. She had worked for 38 years in the one job. Everyone was devastated.

Her relatives came from interstate and they had nowhere to stay, so I offered them my home. They'd never arranged a funeral before so I helped them. We had the same celebrant as for my husband. I shared their grief and also helped to arrange a memorial service at work yesterday for Maureen.

I am so full of grief and feeling so fragile that I can't even let my dog (which was my mothers) visit with a lonely old lady in case she dies too. It is the pits. I have sat in the front seat of the funeral parlour three times in 8 months. Now I'm just waiting for "what's next".

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