True Love Never Dies
I lost my soulmate on July 23. 2010. He was my husband for almost 24 years (Oct. 4). He was my lover, best friend, and soulmate for 26 years (May 1984). He had been sick since January 2010. He was diagnosed with tumors on both kidneys and pancreatic cancer on both his pancreas and his liver on April 7, 2010.
I don't know how I am going to go on without him, but I promised him that I would. We have three wonderful children and three beautiful grandchildren and one on the way. He told me that he wasn't afraid to die, he was just afraid to leave me because he was afraid that I would mourn myself to death. I promised him that I would go on living, but I didn't realize how hard it would be to keep that promise.
My husband (Bryan) and I were very very close. My family has been through a lot the past 17 years. We were hit by a drunk driver in Nov. 1993. This wreck paralyzed my youngest daughter, put me in a coma for about 3 weeks, and left Bryan totally helpless. He went back and forth to see me as often as he could, he was in the hospital with my youngest daughter whose 5th and 6th vertebrae were crushed and her nerves were severed. He kept being told that he needed to pull my plug (I was on total life support) that I would be a vegetable for the rest of my life, then he came in on his birthday and a miracle had happened, I was sitting up with my eyes opened. He always told me that was the best birthday present he ever had.
He often told me how lost he was during the time that I was in a coma but I never really understood, until now. God brought me back to him in 1993 but he took him away from me this year and I don't understand why. I often think how could God need Bryan more than I do.
I don't know what to do. Everyone keeps asking me when I am going back to work, but this has just made me not want to go anywhere, especially the store that I work at. How do I keep my promise to Bryan? I am so lost. I know that I will see him again one day and it will be forever because true love never dies. But what do I do until that day comes?