True Love Never Dies

by Donna

I lost my soulmate on July 23. 2010. He was my husband for almost 24 years (Oct. 4). He was my lover, best friend, and soulmate for 26 years (May 1984). He had been sick since January 2010. He was diagnosed with tumors on both kidneys and pancreatic cancer on both his pancreas and his liver on April 7, 2010.

I don't know how I am going to go on without him, but I promised him that I would. We have three wonderful children and three beautiful grandchildren and one on the way. He told me that he wasn't afraid to die, he was just afraid to leave me because he was afraid that I would mourn myself to death. I promised him that I would go on living, but I didn't realize how hard it would be to keep that promise.

My husband (Bryan) and I were very very close. My family has been through a lot the past 17 years. We were hit by a drunk driver in Nov. 1993. This wreck paralyzed my youngest daughter, put me in a coma for about 3 weeks, and left Bryan totally helpless. He went back and forth to see me as often as he could, he was in the hospital with my youngest daughter whose 5th and 6th vertebrae were crushed and her nerves were severed. He kept being told that he needed to pull my plug (I was on total life support) that I would be a vegetable for the rest of my life, then he came in on his birthday and a miracle had happened, I was sitting up with my eyes opened. He always told me that was the best birthday present he ever had.

He often told me how lost he was during the time that I was in a coma but I never really understood, until now. God brought me back to him in 1993 but he took him away from me this year and I don't understand why. I often think how could God need Bryan more than I do.

I don't know what to do. Everyone keeps asking me when I am going back to work, but this has just made me not want to go anywhere, especially the store that I work at. How do I keep my promise to Bryan? I am so lost. I know that I will see him again one day and it will be forever because true love never dies. But what do I do until that day comes?

Comments for True Love Never Dies

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Oct 11, 2014
Lost without him
by: I miss him

I have read all of the posts and know they are old, but I lost my prince to a sudden unexpected heart attack Sept. 1,2014. Just 18 days before our wedding day. I still don't know how to go on. I have 2 amazing kids, and I do it for them, but you all are right, I want to see him, and feel him again. I am grateful for every day with my kids, but the thought of many years until I see him again still seems like too much. He is with me I know, I will survive. Just keep breathing. Thank you for sharing, it gives me hope.

ed note: This blog has been transitioned to a great new Forum with private messaging. Please check it out by hitting the "The Grief Club" button on the left. You can even resubmit your post there for fresh advice. Thanks so much!

Mar 25, 2012
The new you
by: Andrea

I lost the love of my life 3 months ago suddenly but I am so grateful it was in my arms as I probably would never believed it. We had a perfect marriage of 8 years, no kids we decided to adopt our furry cats. He was a perfect husband i truly mean that. He was my trueknight, the most lovable creature.

I don't know what I am doing or what's next as all I wish is to reunite with him. The thing is I know all he wants is for me to be happy & take care of our little cats. But I can't with out him I feel the biggest part of me left, i am not me & I feel so different. If you have never experienced a loss of a partner I dont think you can truly understand the change in you.

We loved cooking together, actually we loved doing everything together. He was my best friend & my all.

I am one of those women who found truelove & truly lived everyday happy. I am so happy to have that & the pain just unbelievable. I keep repeating our love is greater than the pain! Its all I can say.

So I am trying the new me & everyday I wish I didn't have to as we lived life & there was not a day we did not miss each other or wake up & tell each other how grateful we were to have found each other. Everyday it was like looking at heaven.

Oct 06, 2010
I feel your pain
by: Tom

I know how you?re feeling; I lost my wife and best friend on July 23, 2010 at 37 years old. This October 17th will be our 18 year anniversary. Everyday it seems to get harder. Everyone always says that everyday you will start feeling better but I don?t see how. The hole that has been left in my heart will never heal. We have 2 wonderful boys that have helped keep me in check but I can not let them know how I am feeling because I have to be strong for them. Our youngest son is having a very hard time with everything and is always asking dad how have you stayed so strong. You have to hang in there for your kids and family because they need you now. I know one day god will make sure we see our loved ones again. Until that time we have to continue to serve him and take care of the things he has given us. Please stay strong and I am always here if you need someone to talk with..

Oct 02, 2010
You can do it because we have to do it
by: Judy

My deepest sympathies on the loss of your beloved husband. I lost my darling Bear in October 2009. I wondered at the time how I was going to on and the answer is that, at first, each day comes and you live it until it is gone and then another comes to take it's place. These may be a blur. In retrospect I cannot clearly recall the months of November, December and January with any clarity, although I went back to work, handled financial issues, had a visit from my daughter and seemed to be functioning well. All I can clearly remember is being in a foggy, disorganized and weepy state and having people look at me anxiously and say "You are all right, aren't you?" I always said yes because that's what they wanted to hear, not how I really felt, and I wanted them to leave me alone. Gradually the fog cleared a little and things got better. It will for you too. Believe those of us who talk to you here-we have been down the same road just a little ahead of you.

Do things in your own time and don't let anyone tell you to move on and get over it. You will in your time, not their time. Remeber grief is a roller coaster ride, some times up and sometimes down. And come back to talk to us because, we know how you feel.

Oct 02, 2010
by: Anonymous

You asked how you would live until you are with Bryan again. My friend, one day at a time. Easy answer, not so easy to do. Let yourself grieve and heal somewhat, and start from there. I read once that life is what's happening when you're making other plans. How true. Just know that he'll always be with you.

With prayer and blessings, you'll get where you're going. Bless you, my prayers are with you.

Oct 01, 2010
re" True Love Never Dies
by: jules

I read your post and know exactly how you feel. I lost my darling husband 10 months ago, and every day is a struggle, but I know he would expect me to carry on. We have two great kids and five grandchildren.

When John passed I lost something inside me, I could not cook for months, did not know where to start, I used to read voraciously, now it takes forever to finish a book, or even a magazine, I just seem to have lost interest in some of the things that previously I used to love.

We had semi retired, and were on an open ended driving trip here in Australia when John died, and even though, financially I am ok, there is no way that I could go back to work at the type of jobs I used to do, I am not that person any more. So, I am doing different things - I volunteer at the local community center, and the tourist information office, and do some phone sales for a friend - but I just can't summon up the enthusiasm for things like I used to.

There is no time limit to this grieving process, every one of us is different, and losing a husband or partner that you had chosen to spend your life with is very hard for outsiders to understand, it's not the same as losing a parent or child, you didn't choose them, much as you loved them, but you did choose your partner, and that is the hardest thing I find.

Take your time, don't let anyone pressure you into doing anything, because they think it will help you "get over it" or "move on", only you will know when you are ready.

By the way I can cook again now, but I don't cook the things I used to, I try completely different recipes, or make them up, it's as if the old ones aren't necessary any more.
Take care.

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