by Jen

I lost the love of my life, my soul mate, my best friend and fiancé, Jus, unexpectedly... We had been committed to each other for 7 years and 3 months. We dreamt of starting a family and vowed to marry supposedly last February 8th. I remember this date because our pre nup was supposed to be on February 2013 but had it rescheduled on his birthday -- July 06, 2013. We then agreed that February 2014 is when we should set the big day. Sadly, our dream of getting married faded away because he has to leave, and be with our creator. That was April 21st 2013.

I was lost, I was confused, and I was desperate to find ways on how I could get my life back. It's understandable that an unexpected death is always hard to accept and there is no "quick fix" to grief.

Honestly, I questioned the universe -- "Why does it have to happen to me?” We were inches away from fulfilling our dreams to be together and start a life as a couple and start a family. Every day, I wake up feeling the emptiness and it's hard for me to look back and reminisce the moments that we shared together.

We were in a long distance relationship but it was not a hindrance to us. We find time to travel -- to experience things that we should be doing, to bond, to make up for lost time. We manage to have our own jobs and be good at it, and not get distracted because of not always seeing each other in person whenever we get home.

Despite the loss, I know that I have to move on with my life. I have to start from scratch and continue fulfilling my dreams even if Jus is not around anymore. People tell me my life doesn't end there. Yes, they're right, he may be gone but he is never ever going to be forgotten. He will always be a part of my life.

I want to personally thank all of my friends, our friends, his friends for your sincere prayers. To my parents and my sister for always being supportive and believing in me. And to our creator (Allah/God) for giving me the chance to meet Jus -- he was a wonderful man. I give my trust to our creator because I know he will give me something more to do than grieve.

Today being it's his 1st year death anniversary, I am delivering my heartfelt condolences and sympathies to his family -- to his parents and his brother. May his fond memories and love comfort us now and forever.

Everything happens for a reason. Everyone has to die one day and this is a fact of life. I guess, acceptance is always the key to everything. I am aware that I am taking baby steps and I know I am getting there. My love for you will never fade, Jus. May you rest in peace.


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Apr 15, 2014
Deepest Sympathy
by: Lawrence

What a beautiful tribute to an obviously wonderful man, your thoughts and sympathy to his family are tremendous credit to you.
In writing to this web site you must know you have joined a group of people deeply grieving for the loss of a beloved person, husband, wife, child or parent and we all feel your overwhelming pain and agony and cry for you as well as themselves..
Your question “Why does it have to happen to me” is one we all ask, but there is no rhyme or reason to life, it’s just LIFE
We are all saddened by the fact that you never reached your goal of getting married, how cruel is that, BUT, there’s no explanation, God/Allah works in mysterious ways and who are we to question his judgment.
I lost a precious, cherished wife on Christmas Day 2012 after being together for nearly seventy years, so I am fifteen months into my own devastating agony.
The pain is unbelievable at being the one who is left, I know I will never get over it, nor would I want, or expect to
She was the first girl I ever kissed when she was fourteen and the last on her death bed seventy years later, I have no desire to kiss anyone else, just grateful for the years we had together.
But as you say “you have to move on in life” and of course you must.
Who knows what the future has in store for you but I’m sure everybody on this web site is praying that you find the happiness you so richly deserve, and without any doubt your Jus will be watching over you with all the love you shared.
There is light at the end of the tunnel of grief, you will never forget Jus, he will always be a part of you and in your heart.
With deepest sympathy.

Apr 15, 2014
True Love Will Never Fade.....
by: Doreen UK

Jen what a beautiful tribute to your memory of Jus and to honour his family and yours this way. You have a very mature outlook on life and grief. But remember that you will have days off and on when you feel up and down. This is normal and you must embrace those days and allow yourself to cry if you need to and not be brave because everyone around you is watching and you may feel you have to prove something to them. THAT YOU ARE MOVING FORWARD. Have no expectations. take ONE DAY AT A TIME. Do what you need to so you can get through that day. When you feel needy express this and don't be afraid to let other's know what you need from them in way of continuing support.
It is still a very difficult place to be in life when planning your marriage. Looking forward to having a family. All cut short by the loss of the one you loved.
I was married 44yrs. and lost my beloved husband to cancer 2yrs. ago. I have worse grief days now than at the beginning. It is all that much more Real now. The complex decisions I have to make on a daily basis and all the jobs around the house I have to get fixed now my beloved husband is not here. Finding the finance to do this work. And so it goes on and on and will be forever. It is only TIME that is going to allow all of us to HEAL from our loss and to be able to move forward. I applaud you for your strength and gracious way you are coping. I pray that God will be close to you and your family at this difficult time and that you will all get through this heartache together.

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