Trying to move on..

by Sandra

My dad died on 25th July 2009 of bowel cancer, just aged 46. he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in 2007, seeing my dad suffer everyday and not being able to do anything about it hurt me. i still blame myself for not helping him as much as i could have. i never really knew what the quote'you dont know what you have till its gone'meant and ive had to learn the hard way. 4 years on, not a day goes by where i dont think of him. my dads death has changed me in so many ways, i see life in a different perspective, as much as i try to make the most of life, something keeps holding me back. i cant seem to enjoy life knowing what my dad went through. i never talk about my dad to anyone im so queit about the whole situation and i think how long can i keep it all in? i try and put on a brave face and its wearing off now, my dads death made me question many things, life as a whole, my faith, i lost all faith and really questionned my purpose. there are so many things my dad was supposed to be there for and he couldnt, the fact that my dad died a day after i left primary school hurts me. ive had to live with this burden all these years and i want to move on for good. i hope my dad is okay and pain-free wherever he is, i love and miss you dad xxx

Comments for Trying to move on..

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Dec 17, 2013
Trying to move on....
by: Doreen UK

Sandra I am so sorry for your loss of your dad. This time of the year brings it all back and hurts more as families gather together and one or many is always missing from the family circle.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 19 months ago and this is the second Christmas without him and it feels more painful. I miss him more now. If you have difficulty expelling your feelings you can always keep a journal and write out all your feelings and emotions. You will be getting them out of your system and you will heal better. It is not easy to know who to talk to. You can always talk to CRUSE bereavement services and they are specialists in listening and supporting one in grief. It is because all your feelings and emotions are repressed that you can't move on. Once you have been able to grieve. You will find each day gets easier and you can move through each day better. Best wishes.

Dec 16, 2013
Getting through loss
by: Anonymous

Understand completely what you went threw. My dad has been gone for a little over a year. First Christmas was so hard on my second this year. Mine was older was 75 when he passed but thought realistically thought he would live til late 80,s he was in such good health before this happened. I miss him so much and trying to move on also but not sure how. I was a daddy's girl and we were very close, my hero. My dad had stage four cancer in his lungs and had brain tumors. Mine went very quick I wish I could have done more and very hard to watch. It was hard on the whole family he was a great dad. I know he's my angel know but wish I could give him a hug or call him. We have memories now that we need to share with our families and friends. I guess not time is a good time for death. We always would have liked longer.

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