Trying to relate they give us words. trying to smile we hide our tears. Trying to move forward we put our pain up on a shelf and try to move forward. Trying to give us hope they tell us time will heal. Trying to believe that is the hardest thing so far. Trying not to be guilty for those who have chosen death. Trying to understand why they would have killed themselves. Trying to find others who might know how I feel Trying to find out where suicides go when they die. Trying to spot their ghosts in hallways and in dark nights. Trying to love trying to be happy.. i am really really trying.
Trying, is a really hard, yet strong word. My middle son,26 yrs. old, died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to his head. I've been "Trying" like you for 7 yrs. now. I've went and spoke to many people, chaplin, Drs. group therapy, put on meds. after meds. This website has helped me realize I am not crazy, just grieving, like everyone else. Today I leave comments to those I can. It helps me pay back to those that helped me. It also keeps my sanity. I've gotten a little better. At least I haven't been hospitalized in over a yr. for depression. If you can find a group therapy, they'll help alot. They listen to you, instead of telling you to get over it. If you need to talk to someone, here is my email address. brichison1@yahoo.com Email me anytime, nights or days. I'm awake alot cause of sleep disorder. I've also lost my soulmate, my 2 best friends to suicide not so long ago. So, like I said, email me if you need someone to talk to...Brenda Richison
