Two Losses in One Week
I am a senior. Yes, we seniors feel loss a lot as we lose friends, but the unexpected loss of a beloved only sister (and only sibling) AND her dear husband, within one week, brings pain that is hard to describe.
My sister, 1 1/2 years older than I, was always my moral compass. Even as a child, I was impressed by her unique view of the world. This increased as we reached maturity, married, & raised families. Her health was never that good, her husband's was excellent, until 15 years ago when he got cancer. His cancer treatment was excellent, he was a cancer survivor, but contracted Parkinson's & made the choice to discontinue cancer treatment as he feared the progressing Parkinson's more. At the same time, my sister was undergoing one of her many hospitalizations. Their kids were devoted & gave amazing care, but one Friday they were all busy & the hospice nurse was coming. The nurse made a terrible mistake & inserted a catheter much too large. My brother in law was in agony & called his son, who was away on a class trip for his kids. Son called hospice & nurse said she would return in an hour. She did not. Another urgent call from my brother in law & a family member brought him to hospital where he was put on morphine. He never woke up and died 2 days later, a Sun. My sister took news well as can be expected. Her husband was buried following Friday. She was doing well, I visited her Thurs, Fri., and Sat., but Sat. night she took a sudden turn for the worst & died Sun., exactly a week after her husband & was buried following Friday, exactly a week after her husband. Although their health was not good, no one expected such sudden losses. Don't yet feel I have accepted it, still think of things I want to tell her. Cannot express huge void in my life. It helps some to realize their bodies just could not go on, & we are much more than our physical bodies. Even my doctor said that we are composed of energy & you cannot extinguish energy, so sort of sense they are still with us, but since they were such vibrant, remarkable people the pain is so great for all of us. My brother in law had asked just one thing when he decided to quit the cancer meds: "Please don't let me suffer." This haunts his kids. We know they are both at peace now, but it will take a long while to come to terms with 2 deaths within one week. I cry when I cry, but know grief cannot be forced, and it will take a while. God bless them both, and may the angels escort them into Paradise.