Two very different men...My Fathers

by Danielle
(Chattanooga, TN)

My Dad's name was Dan. He was a Vietman war veteran, a good-looking man, and mentally ill. When my sisters and I were kids, he was wonderful and scary. He made up funny words, for instance, if one of us had a ponytail on top of her head he would say that we had joined the "moomba tribe". His mental illness caused problems in he and my mothers marriage and when I turned 11, she moved us away. Dad moved to a bigger town and we would come to see him. He really wanted his family back and that would never happen. At one point I went 6 years without speaking to him, because it was way easier just to not deal with his craziness (I was 32 when he died). He turned out to be paranoid for good reason. A lot of the things we brushed off turned out to be true. He died last year sometime between March and June, in his apartment alone. We got worried and put out a missing persons report to have the police break his door down and discover that he had passed months before from some unknown bleeding. Details that I wished I'd never learned. My sisters and I worked to get his personal belongings before the apartment was 'cleaned' and rented to another person. Now we have his pictures and furniture. One of my sisters drives his old Cadillac.

Coming home from the service and cleaning of his house (I live in another state) after two weeks of horrific events was nice but I did not know what to do and was very depressed. I did seek counseling and was released, which I recommend.

On St. Patrick's day the man my mother married 18 years ago died in a motorcycle accident. Mom and he live in a small town and again I went back for the service. Jon was a good man and he made my mother happy. Although when I met him, we didn't get along. I was 13 and he was around my age now. He tried to make it work and then sometimes he really didn't try, but he grew to be a man I was proud to call my father also. When I got that 2nd phone call of the year from my sister...the "Are you sitting down?" call, I never imagined that it would be about Jon. I am so sorry for my mother and my sisters and step-siblings.

It is nearly Father's Day and last year on that day I was flying home to bury my dad. Jon was really helpful with my Dad's stuff and when he passed his service was wonderful.

Still on autopilot....

I hope those two meet in the afterlife and hit it off. They were both very special men who should be remembered for their great contributions and not the way that they passed on.

Comments for Two very different men...My Fathers

Click here to add your own comments

Jun 02, 2012
They will meet
by: Anonymous


I feel your sadness as you slowly move forward towards life. Both men came into your life with mission, completed the course and are now gone. You, your siblings and mother have all taken something special with you, deep inside from both men. They are at peace and yes, they have met. They are in a beautiful place, no mental illness, no hate, no sadness, only love. Whatever pain they suffered in life is gone in the afterlife. They can now do what they never could, no limits only love and completeness. They are there for you and please do not regret one Moment of the past. God bless you as you travel the path and let the love for them shine in your heart.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Multiple Losses.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!