Two weeks, two losses

by Pete
(Washington, D.C.)

I was in Kenya for a month with my dad. Mostly hanging out with his friends that he's known for decades. We're not even back in the states for 5 days and the Nairobi Mall shooting happened. My dad's friend was executed by the terrorists with an AK47 to the back of the neck. I searched nonstop for days trying to catch a glimpse of the body in the pictures and videos. I have never felt so much anger. I suppose it's different when you've eaten lunch in a place where such a terrible tragedy happened about a week before it happens.

I've never heard my dad so hurt before. I have been calling to check on him every day. Then one day I call and find out my Grandfather, a World War II veteran, was in the hospital after a heart attack. I knew it was really only a matter of time so this death didn't hit me as hard. But I'm going to the funeral to see everyone. My little sister is destroyed, it felt so horrible hearing her cry and not being there to give her a hug.

The worst part of it is that I am in NROTC and I was working on getting cleared to wear my uniform to the military funeral, but I found out my flight is before the burial. So that's another closure I haven't really gotten. I am happy however that the last time I spoke with either of them was on very good terms. My friend in Kenya gave me a hug before I went to the airport and my Grandpa had told me he loved me. My sister didn't get to speak with him but she got to talk in his ear when he was unconscious about to pass away.

I went through the normal grieving process for my friend but my Grandpa's death didn't hit me too hard. I feel guilty. They were both so proud of me and always bragging. I feel as if I'm going to lose someone else any day now. I'm kind of paranoid.

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Oct 14, 2013
Two weeks, two losses
by: Doreen UK

Pete I am sorry for your loss of your friend in the Kenya Mall shootings and also for your grandfather. You are suffering the trauma of the type of death along with the sudden death of your grandfather. See a grief counsellor if you need to as just a few sessions will all it will take you to get back into your routine again. Grief is what it is. VERY PAINFUL. SLOW HEALING PROCESS.
You are not being paranoid when you feel you will lose someone else from your life. This is a normal feeling and many of us go through it. It will soon pass with grief. One never knows what is round the corner when we go through each day of our life. Environmental shootings are taking place so much to cause society to be filled with FEAR. If you believe in God. Pray over each of your family member's lives. and ask God for a hedge of protection round your life each day. Death causes us to evaluate our lives and our relationships. Now is the time to become closer to your surviving family so that you don't have to live with regret for all the things you wished you had done better. You will recover from your feelings of raw grief in weeks and start to heal slowly but do it only ONE DAY AT A TIME.

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