Unable to save my husband

by Reesa Moore
(Franklin, Virginia)

August 30, 2011, will forever be a day that I will never forget. Around 6:15 a.m. I heard my husband, David, in the bathroom getting sick. I laid there for a moment thinking to myself that he had a stomach bug and that he had better not share it with me or the girls. David began to vomiting violently and I knew at that moment that somethings was not right. As I was walking into the bathroom, David fell to the floor, sweating profusely and unable to get his bearings. I told him to stay still but he attempted to crawl out of the bathroom. I again told him to stay still, told him that I loved him and to remain still. I called 911, gave them the information and went back to be with David. When I went in, David was not breathing and had not pulse. I began performing CPR on my husband. I am a CPR instructor and in my occupation, I am responsible for teaching others CPR and First Aid.

EMS finally arrived and took over working on David. They used the AED twice on David in the house and after reading the screen, I knew that David was dying. I met the squad at the ER and was only at the hospital for approximately 5 minutes when the nurse came back to get me. From the look on her face, I knew what she, the doctor, needed me to do. I had to go back to the room where they were working on David and give them permission to stop CPR. At 6:54 a.m. David was pronounced dead.

I then had to come home and tell our 15 year old that we have custody of and our 4 year old daughter that their daddy just died.

The cause of David's death was listed as uncontrolled diabetes. David was a diabetic and took his medicine for a year and after his brother was diagnosed with a kidney disease and David's doctor wanted to test him for that, he stopped taking his medicine. When David's blood sugar was taken while we were working on him, it was over 550.

The Thursday before David died, he and I had a disagreement about him not going to the doctor or taking his medicine and that this stuff could kill him and that the children would not have a dad. He again said that he wasn't going. So I said to him, my husband, the man that I love and am suppose to stick by, I said to him "fine then, do what you want to do. I quit. Just go ahead and die then." I will never forget those words that came from my mouth.

David was 45 years old and 8 days shy of 46. He has left me to raise two children and I did not sign up to be a single parent. I am a CPR instructor and I could not save him. I have not had time to mourn the loss of my husband because I have two girls that need me. If not for them, I would crawl up in a ball and not exist. I don't want to celebrate the holidays and am angry with them that I have to. I am so empty and lonely and can't sleep or eat. I have lost approximately 35 pounds in the past 6 weeks. I just don't want to function, not at all. David was 45 and he wasn't suppose to die until we were old and our children had children.