Unexpected loss

by Catherine
(CA)

I lost my mom unexpectedly to a heart attack this past march. I had just turned 18 in February, and was just trying to figure my life out. Where to go to college, what i wanted to be, etc. There was only two weeks til my senior prom, and two months til one of the biggest days in my life: graduation. The timing of her death was on of the worst imaginable. I felt numb for weeks, and nobody understood what I was going through. I was forced to go back to school so that I could graduate, and school just made it worse. I could barely sit through an hour class, i couldn't focus at all. I just wanted to cry, I just wanted someone to understand, but nobody did. The only person i had was my mom, it was just me and her. I knew nothing else but that. I was forced to grow up very fast, doing everything on my own. That is still after nearly six months hard to do. I wonder why this had to happen to me, after already losing my father at age 10. It wasn't her time to go, she was fine that morning as i left for school. My life was just coming together perfectly, prom was in two weeks and then after that I would be finally graduating! But after the loss of my mom, those things had no meaning. I felt lifeless. Graduation was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life, and instead it was one of the worst, because the one person who had made me who I am and gotten me this far wasn't able to be there. My mom was all i had, and now i have nothing. I still cry everyday and im scared this heartache will never heal. I wonder why, if there is a god, he would ever do this to me, or anyone for that mat

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Sep 15, 2011
Your Mom is Your Best Friend
by: Geoffrey Campbell

I am still weeping after reading your message, but may I say this, that you are loved, and though with our finite ability to see through our sorrow, we think that if there is a god, that god is to blame, we do so out of frustration and grief. I am speaking out of experience. God is not the author of suffering and death, the one who is actually hates God, and wants to hear us blame God. God loves your Mom more than you ever could, when you lost your Mom, God wept. It is written in Isaiah, "In all our affliction, God is afflicted." There is more going on than meets the eye, but please know this, God suffers too, He suffers when we suffer. But the wonderful thing is in the statement: "Let not your heart be trouble,... I go to prepare a place for you.. in my Father's house are many mansions." We think that God has taken away our loved ones, not realizing this is not so. Lastly, you have a compassionate Friend who sees every tear, hears every cry, He who forgets not the sparrow that falls in death, careth for you. More than you can imagine nor words express. If you need to write, my email is geoffrey2300@hotmail.com And don't forget recover-from-grief, many will read your post and pray for you, we care too.

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