Unexpected Loss

by Deanna
(Columbia, MD)

Celebrating her last Birthday with me and friends Nov 2011

Celebrating her last Birthday with me and friends Nov 2011

June 29th 2012 my World Changed. My Mother was my friend, my parent, my hero, my champion, my success, and yes, my frustration. I truly believe that is part of the whole relationship. ...Well, I call it the Spice that makes any relationship more flavorful!
65 is too young! All that she has endured, all her struggles raising a child (ME) on her own, working full time and going to school at night to make things better for us, Several Back Surgeries in her later years and the recent success last year graduating with a Masters in Social Work and longing to help people, she said to me "there's a lot that she would still like to do, but if she were to go, she wanted me to know that she's okay with it and that she had a great life" (We used to talk about all kinds of things and yes, death was a topic that came up on occasion. Our conversations were REAL and HONEST and usually without disagreement and for that I am VERY thankful.
My mother had so much to do with who I am that I think of her at ever turn, it seems and it's bitter sweet. People say, I am my Mom. That is comforting because she really touch people and really made a difference in so many lives not restricted to humans, but her love for animals, especially Dogs was hard to match. She even wrote a small book on one of her adoptions, a Dog with a very sad story. His time with her was short and her soul just ached to Validate his life.
For 6 weeks prior to her last day, she had been working out in the gym and was beging to really benefit from that. I had been trying for years to convince her of the good to working out and I feel if she had started soon..... I know playing those "IFs and BUTs" ame is one we Can't win, so I do try hard Not to do that. She used to say: "If 'IFS' and 'buts' were Candy and Nuts, Oh what a Party we'd have!" She had so many of those sayings that I have been reliving and sharing recently that comfort me.
What finally took her was, well, we don't know for sure, but It is suspected of being a 'cardiac event'. She was in Florida (she lived there with her husband) and had been at the beach and out on the boat, just finished eating and walking back to the boat when everything changed. Even with CPR, Ambulance Crew, and Drug and DeFib for 45 minutes, my beautiful Mother left this world a much dimmer place.
To all who have lost, YOU can be a testament to their memory by giving to those in need and making the world a better place. Even kindness is a valuable resource.
And through that act of giving, I believe healing can occur more profoundly than ever though possible.

Comments for Unexpected Loss

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Aug 03, 2012
by: Anonymous

Its so hard to lose a mother! You will miss her always but you will be filled with beautiful memories and you will continue to offer the world a piece of her through yourself.
This is a beautiful entry.

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