(Malverne, New York USA)
Lloyd and I met a few years ago and became best friends. We have been together three years and got married December 24, 2010. Lloyd was my dream we were both older, he was 52 and I am 46. We didn't have our youth together but we were so in love, we were going to make the best of the years we did have. We did everything together. I have three children from a previous marriage, he was so good with them. He would prepare packages for my daughter in college and have me send it to her. My fifteen year old son developed a close relationship with him. We had established our routines and traditions as a family unit. Then everything changed the day after Thanksgiving. Lloyd was in such a great mood Thanksgiving night. My parents hung around until after nine then his stepson and his wife dropped by. We got up that morning he left to play paddleball and I went to work. Forty minutes after I got to work I got a call that he had collapsed and was at the hospital. I had no idea he was already gone. The doctor told me they couldn't get his heart started.
It has been three months since the love of my life is gone. Sometimes it still doesn't feel real. He use to leave me a postcard on my pillow every night. Now those cards give me something to hold on to. The cards help me keep him close. Everyday gets a little better but I hurt so deep I will never be the same. I don't cry as much anymore I just feel an emptiness inside. I feel sad for my husband who is gone, an unfinished life he was looking forward to so much and I feel sad for myself being left here without him. Sometimes I wish I was taken too. I am trying to be strong, trying to go on for my children it's an ongoing struggle.