We found my dad yesterday

by Ruth

My dad has been struggling with depression since an emergency hernia op last year and the sudden death of my Granny. He has not been himself since. My sister and brother were worried because they couldnt contact him from tuesday evening, I thought he was just sleeping, he told me he was feeling sleepy a lot. I told him to go back to the doctors maybe his meds werewrong. Anyway, when I hadnt heard back by 11 on Wednesday I left work and picked my sister up on the way and I talked about how wed probably find him asleep on the couch. I wish we had. My sister found him laid on the floor in the bathroom, I could tell he was already dead. I felt like maybe if Id rung him Monday night he might have said to me he didnt feel right. Maybe I couldve eased his suffering. Now I cant sleep, I feel sick and I just want my Dad back please

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May 28, 2013
by: Ruth

Thank you so much for your wise words. We had the funeral today and I can feel myself getting stronger. I am so sorry for what you are going through. When I wrote my original text I was thinking of myself only, my pain. I appreciate your kindness and send you strength to keep up the good work you are doing. X

May 17, 2013
We found my dad yesterday
by: Doreen U.K.

Ruth I am sorry for your loss of your dad so suddenly and to find him the way you did. It must have been a shock immediately. Then reality sets in and the days ahead will be difficult. Don't expect too much of yourself. Grief can make one feel guilty with "If only?" "I wish I had done this or that?" I am sure if your dad was concerned he would have called one of his children. Often when one is depressed they don't like company and they like to be on their own. They certainly don't want to bring other's down by how they feel so they become subdued. You will know if your father was like this at all. I know how you feel because we all do it. We beat ourselves up in desperation to have saved the one we lost. I suffered depression for over 40yrs. so know the signs. I then gave back to a counselling centre 8yrs. in voluntary work to support others with depression and mental health difficulties. This is such a difficult area to support. Often close knit families cannot support one in depression. The family is too close to be of benefit. You and your siblings will need a lot of support to get through this grief as it really hurts to lose someone so close. My father is dying at the moment and I have spent a week crying seeing him look so fragile, and lost. It is so painful. May you all be comforted in your grief and sorrow in these difficult days ahead.

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