We HAVE come a long way baby to get where we've got to today. 2 years of grief.
It's been a while since I have visited this site. I like to think that I am healing with time. I did have some rough moments when I hit the 2 year mark. It was rough accepting the fact that it has been that forever ago yesterday that I lost the Love of my life.
But then I went to visit my kids in CA (Well the kids that are in CA.) and for the first time in years I felt a deep contentment within that I have not felt in 3 years or more. Before Paul's Illness and death. But I know that I am making progress. Not like the one step forward and 3 steps back that was the first year of grief. Or the blinding realization that grief goes not just disappear after having endured it for the first year or even months after that.
I used to go to this site every day, I had too it was the only string that was holding my sanity in place. I am sure without the support here I would NOT have made the progress that was so very hard to make. I slowed down and finally stopped coming here. I was grateful for all the help and support that I had received . Yet reading others grief brought me back to a place that I did not want to return to. A place of pain never ending.
I think that we all must endure the mind bending pain of grief. It must be worked through in our own way and there is no better place than here to be. I have been to a few grief meetings but none have given me the feeling that they "Get it" Only here was a safe place to be and I thank you for being here through the rough times.
All the 2 year widows know who they are we wrote and cried till surely there was nothing left.
I did have a melt down today. A memory hit me unexpectedly. Had I thought I was immune to that. Thought I had come too far for that. But I did make it through surprised by my sudden tears. We will all make it leaning on each other for strength. And for that...I thank you from the bottom of my heart.