We lost our Family Pilar

by Christina

My Mom was 85 years old and in great shape, she had the best memory and remembered all birthdays of all her 10 kIds, all 28 grand Kids and all 8 great grand kids, she was smart as a whip. Every year for her birthday we made a big celebration and people would travel to attend her big Party. She wasn't much of a partier but she really enjoyed this yearly event because she had all her family together. Her Family was everythig to her. She was very sweet Catholic woman who taught all her family to be close. We never fought or argued since she taught us all to love one another and treat each other with respect. she was the Family Pilar. My father passed away 15 years ago and she helped us all pull through.
Now we lost her on January 25 2013 and we are all lost, not sure how to live our lives without her. Even though the Doctors said that she would pull through she felt in her heart that her time to go was here and she got to say her good byes to all her Family. She tried to prepare us and told us to be strong and not to cry for her, she also asked that we always remain close and to always reach out to one another in times of need and to always be there for each other. She also left a letter behind for us asking us to help people who needed help, even if they were strangers. She always fed the hungry, shared whatever little money she had to help others in need and asked that my Sisters and i always help others when she would no longer be around.

She truly had a heart of gold and because of this it is so hard to live without her. My Sisters and i still cry everyday. WE dont know how to live without her, We just hold each other tight and cry together huddled up. She was our everything, kept us all together and we never took her for granted. When she was hospitalized we kept her Company 24 hours a day 7 days a week just so she wouldnt feel lonely. On the Morning she passed i had just left for home at 2am when i got the call from my Sister that Mom had left this world at 7:29am. I regret leaving her. i felt as though i was always there for her but WHY WASNT I THERE WHEN SHE NEEDED ME THE MOST! I Wanted to hold her hand while she took her last breath and i think she wanted me there too. We know she is in Heaven now with my DAD but we miss her terribly.
GOD help everyone who is grieving the loss of their Mother and give them strength and serenity.

Comments for We lost our Family Pilar

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Mar 22, 2013
"Searching for Wisdom"
by: Doreen U.K.

Hi Mike I read your reply post here and it was a good reply
You said here that you are searching for "Wisdom" You don't need to search for this. You have it already, and The more Wisdom you need God will supply. All you have to do is Ask God for more wisdom. He will love that and give you more "Wisdom" as another Gift. Because He knows we have tough decisions to make every day and so we need this outpouring every day.
God Bless You!

Mar 20, 2013
Her Heart Unites Us All
by: Susana Hernandez (NYC)

You are all wonderfully fortunate to have each other to lean upon, to have shared her life, and to treasure her memories. Your mom was an amazing soul with a pure and open heart who will ALWAYS be tremendously missed. Please keep me in mind, should your family require support of any nature.

In the meantime, I’ve organized a MEMORIAL REGISTRY, in her honor, to assist you in fostering her wishes, as well as to help those who are less fortunate and in need of a generous spirit (like your mom’s). All desiring to participate in charity donation that promotes your mother’s ideals of helping to lift an underserved population, may go to the following website address:


“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy— MEDITATE ON THESE THINGS. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:6-9).

Mar 08, 2013
We were blessed
by: Bertha

Thanks for writing such beutiful comments about our mom. I know it's hard for people that did not know her to believe, but we truly were so lucky, that we were blessed with the best mother ever. She did so much for us. She showed us what true unselfish love is. I remember that when I would drop off my kids in the morning, she would always have breakfast and lunch ready for me. I would purposely go with my hair down and then she would offer to french braid my hair (which I loved, sitting and having her do my hair as we talked). On my way home I would go pick up my kids and she would have dinner packed for me to take home.. She always made me feel so special, ( I always thought I was her favorite), until I found out that we all thought the same thing... I never heard her say, "I don't have time, or I can't" when I asked her to do something. This amazes me, because I have 3 children, 2 adults and 1 teenager, and often times I find myself overwhelmed.I reflect back on all the love that mom gave us. I feel so lucky that God gave us such a wonderful mother, who showed us that the most important thing in life is love...
Remember what I said, I think Mom picked who she wanted at her bedside when she took her last breath... It would have been too hard for her to say good by if we were all at her side. Continue to grow in your faith for it is only with God that we can overcome this great pain. LOVE YOU.

Mar 03, 2013
I understand.
by: Mike.

Please, please don't concentrate on the "Why wasn't I there" aspect. You WERE there. I have heard this regret from everybody who has lost a loved one. Rarely are we "there" at the last second. Don't let 85 years of love be funneled down to a few seconds. It is NOT fair to you, or your Mom. I lost my Mom almost a year ago, and, I'm still researching grief. Thank God for the internet. Reach out, read, People DO care. There is still more good than bad. Folks WANT to help. On one site I read something that was/is instrumental to my partial healing. (Everyone's will be different). It explained to me that grief is actually a way of preserving memory of a loved one. Strange. I had never thought about it that way. As you heal, your grief will mellow/morph into memories. My heart aches for you when you wrote in CAPS LOCK about not being there at the "moment" your Mom passed. I understand. Your blessed with family, blessed. My wife is a nurse, and many folks have nobody to care. Through your grief, always be aware that you have family. There are ALWAYS "what if's". It is part of the grief. If you had of been there at the last moment (which is almost impossible)....other "what if" scenario's will "play out". Believe me. Just the mere fact that strangers such as myself are reaching out to you proves how much people care. Now, your process begins. Love is the reason for your grief. I'm still searching for wisdom, but I know, Love is the reason I have pain. I'll learn to live knowing that a person meant so much to me, that I still grieve. My wish for you, is that you'll always keep love in YOUR process.

Mar 01, 2013
Lost our Family Pillar
by: Christina

Thank you both for you kind words. I will honor my Mother and be a good member of Society including helping others as best i can, just as she asked us to do.

Feb 27, 2013
We lost our Family Pillar.
by: Doreen U.K.

Christina God Bless You all!. You had a mother who taught you all well. You all as a family were very Blessed to have her as a mother. So much so that this is the type of woman who makes the world a better place and makes a family whole. It is only natural to want a mother like this to live forever. But none of us can be assured of living a long life. You can feel blessed that your mother lived well into her 80's which is a blessing in itself if we can live beyond 70yrs of age as the Bible states. You will all grieve and go on to live your own lives with your own families. But remember your mother's legacy to you all was to stay close and help one another and other's who come your way. This is the way God wants us to live so if you all can manage this you will have a blessed life. It won't be without it's difficulties and you will all need to draw strength from each other. One of you will eventually become the matriarch as your mother was so you give strength and honour to your own families. Keep the bond strong between all of you and honour the woman who gave you life so that you keep this Love on going. I am sorry for your families loss of a much Loved Mother.

Feb 27, 2013
Dear Christina,
by: Pat

Cry for me, but not too long for why should you cry for a soul set free. These words come from a poem I had read at my fiance' service, when he passed. It was time for your mother to go. She is at peace with no more chemo and no more pain. You had an amazing mother and still do. Her physical presence is gone, but her real spirit is still with you every moment of every day. You are so blessed to have a mother who taught her children to be close and to help others. I have never heard such wonderful comments about anyone else's mother. She was a gift from God and she left her gift of giving to you and your sisters to carry on. Giving in your mother's name will honor her and what she stood for. Giving a gift that cannot be reciprocated is the highest honor anyone can give. So help others, provide random acts of kindness, or volunteer with an organization that helps people. This is a wonderful way to carry on your mother's work. You know she would be pleased. You are blessed, dear one. Your wonderful mother is watching over you and is so proud of you. Take care. In helping others, you will also help yourself and you will begin to feel better. I know because I have been there too.

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