We were like peanut butter and jelly

by Karen
(Cheshire, CT USA)

My mother died at age 88. Her body just slowed down to a complete stop. We had an extra-ordinary relationship. I am an only child and her only daughter. As with any mother daughter relationship ours was complex. What I remember the most is how very close we always were. It didn't matter if we didn't understand each other or completely agreed. We were always there for each other. Mother was the one person who understood me like no other. She had an ability to really listen and hear what I was saying. Mother knew exactly when I needed advice and when she should just nod and say "I don't know what to say about this one". There was great comfort in going to her. I always came away with the answer I needed. Mother understood my pain and waited patiently as I journeyed through it. She understood my fear and supported me like no other. Mother generously shared her strength. She understood my joy and danced with me in it. She walked with me through thick and through thin. When I was right she told me and when I was wrong she gave me that glance, scrunched up her face and gently said "this time I think your wrong". Mother aged gracefully. She maintained her independence through shear determination. As she became elderly and more frail, our roles began to shift. Mother leaned on me. I was only too happy to be there for her. I struggled with having her go to a nursing home. I knew it was the only way she could get the care she needed and deserved. Maintaining what little independence she had, Mother gave me a run for my money. Through it all we both knew that we loved each other with all our hearts and in a way that only a mother and daughter can share. Mother went home on July 19,2011. I know in my heart she wants me to be happy. I also know she respects my grieving process. I love you, Mother!

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