We widows are a big group.
by Jeanne Etchechoury
I lost my husband, friend and confidant on April 17, 2010 and was immediately admitted into the widow's club of the world. I have found since that we are many, all lonely with huge holes in our hearts.
My husband and I shared his slide from the terrible throes of cancer through his suffering and with my constant care taking. Through this we did not discuss the obvious conclusion because he was hanging on to the last hope of survival and was not comfortable discussing his demise. Because of this, we did not discuss all the great years we had and they were many, how much we loved each other, the fact that I would be OK (or not OK) or anything he might have left undone. I regret that. It has been six months and I am still so sad and I miss him so much. I still feel the transition from being an extremely busy 24/7 caretaker to the quiet and stillness of our home to be unsettling and hard to get use to.
My tears are still very near the surface and I wonder when that will all change. Hopefully, by sharing my pain with this site I will find relief and comfort with the company of all those who post their feelings for us to share.