What am I to do without you?

by Dawn
(Hudson, MI)

I just lost my husband June 8,2012, after a short battle with cancer. I don't know how to move on, I feel like I have hit the wall and can't turn the corner. I have a 3 and 6 year old to take care of. Our 6 year old doesnt really understand, she knows he's not here but she wantes to know when he's coming home so that they can get back to everything they did togethere. I keep looking for the answers but I can't find it. He took the time out to tell everybody how he felt, but just not me. I know it was hard on him as well as myself, but it is just one of those things that now i have to .

Comments for What am I to do without you?

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Sep 05, 2012
Hang in there Dawn...
by: carroll--TX

Dear Dawn,

I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you must endure. It has helped me to focus on the Positive things Tony and I had in life. Not to dwell on the hard final days...I kept hashing them over and over and that is just not healthy. Perhaps if you put up some positive coping statements on the mirror...the Serenity prayer I repeated over and over constantly...Tony has been gone almost 5 months now and I still miss him like crazy. I try to focus on the living and spend time with our 8 yr old granddaughter too. You will continue to have a rough road ahead sweetie. Take each day @ a time. Maybe write a letter to your husband and tell him what you miss...I do not know...just that some of the items above have helped me. PEACE to you...hang in there!

Jul 04, 2012
by: Anonymous

how do we explain grief my heart goes out to you you are too young im old and its 5years i cant move on my life is so different god bless and help you all in your grieving xx
does believing that we live on on different level does this help any of us mary x

Jul 02, 2012
what am I to do without you?
by: Doreen U.K.

Dawn I am sorry for the loss of your husband. It is hard when you have children asking questions and can't answer them in a way their young minds can understand. then as a mother you will want to protect them. there is no right way to do it. perhaps if you saw a bereavement counsellor for support you would then be able to find the answers yourself. They are just lying at the bottom of your pain inside.
Your husband probably found it easier to tell other people about himself and not you because he was trying to protect you. I have been finding out that my husband did the same thing. He didn't tell me. I had to hear it from other people. I feel angry about this. It hurts. I then feel justified to be angry. I lost my husband Steve to a 3yr.39days battle with lung cancer caused by working with Asbestos. Steve's cancer was inoperable.incurable.aggessive. Miracle he survived 3yrs.39days. I was Steve's caregiver. I honestly thought God would heal Steve. Most of the God channel in America was praying for him. I didn't get my miracle. Instead I got SORROW. A BROKEN HEART. I am devastated. I have so much time on my hands now and I don't want to do anything. STeve was in retirement and did not get to enjoy his life. His working life was over and then he died. Is this fair? then the government take back half of his pension that he worked over 40 years to build up. Now I have to struggle to live. I am tired of fighting these feelings. fighting a losing battle. We will all feel very discouraged. I sink so far and then have to pick myself up. My Steve used to do this. Now I have to do it myself. I hope you have better days ahead. Post as much as you need to for support. Best wishes.

Jul 02, 2012
What Are We To Do?
by: TrishJ

The problem is ~ we don't know how to move on. For the first 6 months after my husband passed away I felt like I was living in a foreign country and didn't speak the language. I knew what I wanted to do but my mind and body wouldn't let me.
It has to be so difficult for you with two young children. They need you but you need to take things slowly. You need to take care of yourself so you can be there for them.
Things will get better for you but it's a long process with lot's of work on your part. Some days you will feel like you don't have the energy to get out of bed but you have to. You will feel like your body is present but your mind isn't. Cry as often as you need to ~ it cleanses the soul. Life must seem so unfair to you and guess what??? It is!! I used to feel sorry for me and say, "None of my friends have lost their husbands! Why me? What did I do to deserve this?"
Take your life one day at a time. Thinking too far into the future will only over whelm you.
God bless. I pray for peace and hope for you.

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