What else? I lost my son, my husband and my daughter in a four year period.
by Mary Colletti
Since the last death was 2½ years ago, I am expected to carry on as before this all happened. I haven't had time to grieve for one when I lost the next one. I am sad, lonely..I have never lived alone before. I am blessed that my remaining child lives very close with her family and is very supportive, but she too is getting impatient with me. She has lost her father and two siblings, but she has a husband, two children and a responsible job to keep her occupied. I am a retired RN, and have multiple health problems. My friends are married, work or volunteer full time and don't have much time to spare for me.
The first thing I read that made sense to me was the opening sentence in letters of Grief by C?S. Lewis that (not an exact quote) grief feels like fear. It does. I can finally identify what I am feeling in a way that people can understand. That helped a lot.
I am so lonely I have actually been contemplating investigating whether to seek a marriage, and if in the affirmative, how do I go about it. I was married 35 years, widowed five, and am 67 years old. I have observed more and more couples meeting and marrying through online dating services. This scares me to death, but I see the practicality of it. After five years of being widowed, and then nursing my daughter before she died, I have gotten used to living for myself And enjoying my daughter and grandchildren when I see them. I know that marriage requires a lot of moving over and sharing and doing things another person's way. I don't know if I can do that.
Has anybody out there have had a similar experience?