What is the Point?

by Jessica
(Chester,Vt)

Here I sit, it has been 18 months since I lost him. Since my life changed and came crashing down at my feet. Since I lost my home, my life, my love. Some days are better than others, the holidays as I am sure you all know are the worst.

But I have been thinking lately. What is the point? I had my soul mate, the one person that we all look for, we had a love and connection that I will never have with another man, so what is the point of all this? Others tell me to let him go, that he will never be at peace until I do. I let him go that day that I stopped the machines. I do not want to let him go anymore. I see no other man in my future that could ever compare with him, nor do I want another man. So, do I live the rest of my life alone now?

Comments for What is the Point?

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Nov 18, 2010
it sucks, doesn't it??
by: Anonymous

your situation is different from mine, yet i know exactly what you mean when you ask ' what is the point'?

i haven't figured it out yet either...people tell me that the point is to carry on for my kids, but i never would have had kids alone, and i don't like being a single mom...what right did he have to just take off and leave me with all this to sort out...i don't want it...i want some level of peace in my life, and since i hate him for killing himself over his own selfish choices which ruined his life, why should i keep having to clean up the mess...ya know??

i don't see anyone in my future either because i don't think i could ever trust a man again...

i think that's the basis for my anger...my loss of trust, that loss of something i felt would always be there....

i am just starting to really let my anger out...i don't know if it will help or not, but i can't seem to suppress it, so i don't...

maybe you are angry too - more than you have considered....

Nov 17, 2010
Who knows
by: Jen

Hi there,
My name is Jen and i lost my husband coming up on two years ago. I worry what will become of me but whatever it is i want to feel a little more contentment.

Our partners will be with us forever and will continuously be there and support us.

I truly believe that Richard is helping me and guiding me towards my future whatever that is but what will be will be with Richards help.

Grief hits us and on some days we are overwhelmed, but daylight sneaks in again and hopefully we can take that small step forward again.

Just take one day at a time and deal as best you can with whatever you have to face. Don't close off your future just leave the door slightly ajar and see what happens.

Our loved would want us to find contentment in whatever form that comes. Wouldn't they?

Keep writing,
Jen

Nov 17, 2010
Alone
by:

Having been with a wonderful man, I want no other but that does not mean that we have to be alone. Starting over does not have to include a substitute that will never add up in our minds to what we had. Instead we can get out there and enjoy integrating with the world. Merging, trying to fit in, going about our work days and time off communicating lightly with others, not clinging on to them as a life raft. Try to remember the part of you before that spoke with others and make casual conversation. It is not picking out another spouse, merely trying to be human again.

It is not easy, it seems that we cannot pick up the pieces and act as if everything is o.k
But maybe just maybe if we aren't too desperate, clingy & needy they will not see the grief within.
And we will be treated normally. Though we feel anything but.

Good luck this starting over is hard work.
HH

Nov 16, 2010
Agreed
by: JM

I too lost my soul mate--that once in a lifetime many-splendored thing--2 months ago. It is not the time to think that no other person can fill his shoes. For me, it was 35 years of Heaven on Earth. Now, he is in Heaven and I am on Earth. What a bummer! But my faith gives me hope for the future--both on Earth and in Heaven.

Jessica, I shall pray that your faith will strengthen and sustain. If you have no faith, I shall pray God will visit you tonight in a special way that you may know He is faithful.

Nov 16, 2010
What is the point?
by: JG

Jessica, the point is you are not ready yet to look on the outside because you're still inside your grief. When you do come to the understanding that we all die and those we leave behind must continue to look for contentment until they go. When you are ready your life could be at least joyful in finding a companion . One in which will not be a replacement but different.

I'm recently widowed (2 months) and and hurting so bad and I feel as you do right now. He was mine for over thirty years. I pray I will see him again when God chooses my time. Until then and when the time is right God will make sure I'm loved and cared for and he will do the same for you. Believe.

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